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Does anybody know how to cook a turkey?
self | 11-24-2005 | self

Posted on 11/24/2005 6:04:43 AM PST by Gordon Pym

When I opened the turkey there was no instruction book


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 1800takeout; cook; cz; doomed; finetimetoask; lastminute; rsvpnothanks; turkey
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To: Mr Ramsbotham

If you want something a bit different, a few years ago I started putting honey between the skin and meat on the breast. I've kept doing it because it has added to the flavor of both the bird and gravey.


101 posted on 11/24/2005 7:08:40 AM PST by Morgan in Denver
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To: Gordon Pym

I have read that some people marinate them with Coca-Cola.


102 posted on 11/24/2005 7:08:46 AM PST by SALChamps03
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To: Gordon Pym
You gotsta find him first!


103 posted on 11/24/2005 7:08:47 AM PST by OSHA (Liberalism - Is it real or is it Scrappleface?)
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To: Gordon Pym
I cooked my first turkey all alone at 17. It said to truss the legs together with string or something. I cou;dn't find any so I stuck a knife through there and it worked ok holding it together. The turkey was great, all except for the melted plastic handle of the knife. LOL

Live and learn.

104 posted on 11/24/2005 7:09:07 AM PST by knak (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing)
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To: RightOnline

"It's a major award!"


105 posted on 11/24/2005 7:09:54 AM PST by savedbygrace
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To: Gordon Pym
There was a very long and detailed thread last year on FR. Try a search! As far as my recipe goes if you haven't gotten you 55 gallon drum it is probably to late.
106 posted on 11/24/2005 7:10:11 AM PST by mad_as_he$$ (Never corner anything meaner than you. NSDQ)
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To: Gordon Pym

Omly with a propane torch.


107 posted on 11/24/2005 7:11:56 AM PST by mad_as_he$$ (Never corner anything meaner than you. NSDQ)
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To: Gone_Postal

Good info. Thanks. I had opportunity a few years ago to try a 10-12# turkey in a big 15 PSI pressure cooker. Unstuffed, of course. Can't remember how long we had it in.

Came out different, naturally, but good(!). A worthwhile experiment.


108 posted on 11/24/2005 7:12:40 AM PST by solitas
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To: jer33 3
Baste every ½ hour or so if you're the basting type.

What? And he calls himself a chef? Opening the oven every half hour will let out all the heat and the oven will never get hot and will never cook the bird. Get the poison control number ready for speed dial. I may baste ours once or twice. Mainly to get the juices out for the giblet gravy and to stop any over flow into the oven. Never had a dry turkey. LOL, one year we were out at the old home place without an oven so I had to put him in the microwave. Amazingly, that was the most moist and best tasting turkey we've ever had and to this day someone still comments on it during dinner.

109 posted on 11/24/2005 7:13:24 AM PST by mtbopfuyn (Legality does not dictate morality... Lavin)
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To: Gordon Pym

I just take the plastic off...rub it with oil (from the garage--just kidding) and stick it in the oven. If you can, bake it upside down till the last 20 minutes so that the top can turn brown. You will know when it's done when the turkey starts knocking on the oven door.


110 posted on 11/24/2005 7:22:42 AM PST by Fawn (Try not---do or do not. ~~ Yoda)
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To: AZRepublican
You mean you deep fry the turkey FROZEN???????????

 I keep mine frozen in a NASA approved container of liquid nitrogen until 20 minutes before mealtime. Then I fire up my deep fryer in my garage and let 'er rip! Serve with sweet potatoes. Stovetop stuffing and sides of antacids and pepto bismol
111 posted on 11/24/2005 7:22:46 AM PST by dennisw (You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you - Bob Dylan)
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To: Gordon Pym

Cooking a turkey is not complicated at all. In fact, it's one of the easiest dishes to prepare. I wonder what people who don't know how to roast a turkey do for food the rest of the year!


112 posted on 11/24/2005 7:23:42 AM PST by SamAdams76 (What Would Howard Roarke Do?)
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To: Gordon Pym

Cook a turkey?



Just eat it raw


113 posted on 11/24/2005 7:24:52 AM PST by Rightly Biased (Valor is a Gift.Those having it never know for sure whether they have it till the test comes)
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To: Tennessee_Bob
who are you and how did you do this??

I'm afraid I'm not allowed to provide that information.

114 posted on 11/24/2005 7:26:49 AM PST by B Knotts
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To: wizr
So, you're going out to the reservation to try the slots?

LOL Not today, we did that last week back home in Tulsa. We went to a indian casino for a nice meal & talked about hitting the slots with about $20 each after dinner. We went out to the floor and I stuck $10.00 into a slot, 15 SECONDS later it was gone! Sis looked at me, I looked at her, She said "Ya want to go home & watch a movie?", I said Ya.

As for our ( 5 year) tradition for today, my blond bikini model sister and her 15 year older brother have become quite a hit at our favorite EAST INDIAN restaurant in Santa Monica on Thanksgiving!

Very best to all my friends here on FR!

115 posted on 11/24/2005 7:26:59 AM PST by MilspecRob (Most people don't act stupid, they really are.)
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To: timydnuc

For what it's worth, I use a spinal tap needle on a syringe to inject wine into the meat of the turkey. Adds moisture and does not interfer with the flavor. Of course, you have to beg a doctor to get the syringe, and convince him or her you're not a drug addict, but the four inch needle does great getting under the skin. I'll slowly pull the syringe out as I'm injecting the wine so it's evenly spread.


116 posted on 11/24/2005 7:27:31 AM PST by Morgan in Denver
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To: saveliberty

Thanks for the tidbit about the canola oil- I use it for everything else, including pie crust. I had never thought to use it on the turkey though. Good Tip!


117 posted on 11/24/2005 7:29:43 AM PST by Tammy8 (Build a Real Border Fence, and enforce Immigration Laws!!!)
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To: Gordon Pym

Be sure to remove the giblet bags if your turkey has them. I forgot a couple of years. The results weren't pretty.


118 posted on 11/24/2005 7:30:13 AM PST by mewzilla (Property must be secured or liberty cannot exist. John Adams)
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To: Gordon Pym

Turkeys don't come with printed instruction manuals any more.
Look again - a CD should be included.


119 posted on 11/24/2005 7:34:16 AM PST by Blue Champagne (Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?)
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To: Gordon Pym
Turkey Preparation
120 posted on 11/24/2005 7:34:49 AM PST by Darnright (Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.)
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