I have no problem that we have to look hard at the family. But when I have posted that that would include making use of the rather harsh Biblical teachings on divorce, I get a lot of flack from the "judge not" line of reasoning. At any rate, I'll assume we are in basic agreement on that.
Now, as to this:
"Besides, no one in their right mind could seriously suggest that a 21st-century American church needs to be set up exactly as a 1st-century church in the Middle East. Utter silliness."
I'm glad you clarified that, because it shows we are arguing from different premises. I believe in both the inerrancy and sufficiency of Scripture. And that is the historic teaching of most of the church. You obviously don't accept that Scripture sets forth the guidelines for a modern church, and I appreciate your candor. We'll just have to agree to disagree there because there is no way I can convince you otherwise. I can only say that I used to think that way, also....but then one day it occurred to me: if I am not going to go by a Biblical standard, then what IS the standard? I would like to hear what sources of authority are normative for those who don't accept the sufficiency of Scripture.
One thing from church history that is pretty clear to me is that when we adhere to Biblical norms, the Church flourishes (part of flourishing meaning being persecuted, obviously). Societies are transformed. Lives are saved and so on. When we do not, we suffer.
As time goes on, I tend to think that the Bible is more true, not less. But that's just me.
It's not that I question the 'accuracy' or efficacy of Biblical teachings, but you must ask yourself how the 1st century churches......churches in place when the New Testament was written.......would be different if they were first set up in 21st century America. Churches reflect their societies and technologies as much as their core value systems. A simple thing like electricity makes a huge difference in how a church can operate.
What matters are the basics: Are the teachings Biblical? Are they truly scriptural? Are God and His Son glorified? Does the church believe in prayer.......I mean REAL prayer? Do they believe and practice in the gifts of the Spirit? Such things are what matter most, IMHO.