lol, good one.
"I, John Kerry, swear that I will not vow to do as I did, when I did not do it, because knowing what I now know that I did not know, I would surely have chosen to not do some things differently, unless something I learned now could change how I felt about something back then, at which point I believe I would've acted appropriate, assuming that inappropriate action was not the most appropriate action, at which point I would have to consult the polls before deciding how much I knew, or did not know when I did or did not do what I was supposed to have done, knowing what I know now."
ROFL!!!
I'm afraid that's a little bit nuanced for us simple folk to fully understand though.