ROFL!
Nothing to forgive, dear Delmont.
I'm not really a Velveeta, I just play one on FR. ;-)
Thank you, Velveeta, I had never met one before my ex wife. I think Velveeta's momma and poppa put a curse on her and that's why she had the weight problem her whole life, see, when she was born she was kind of blocky, like a block of Velveeta and she weighed about 13#. I think Velveeta has had personal "issues" her whole life, being named after a block of cheese and all.
But I still loved her with all my heart, until her and Maurice ran off together and left poor old Delmont in the lurch.