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I discipline my daughter, I spend quality time with her. I am a girl-scout leader, Sunday school teacher and classroom volunteer so my child's ADHD certainly isnt a result of my lack of parenting!!!

Not trying to be rude or judgmental, just wondering if you realize that the examples of quality time you cite with your daughter always involve other children, not one-on-one. Girl scout leader? Sunday School teacher? Classroom volunteer?

Have you ever considered dropping some of the activities involving other people's children and focusing on your own exclusively?

Oh my, yes those activities involve other kids but only a few ( we live in a small town). I took on all those roles to spend time extra time with her. Abby is very proud to say, " My Mommy is the Leader". I certainly don't see where being there for her in these roles is "wrong".
I spend plenty of "one on one" time with her also. We have movie night, we have "girls only" afternoons. In case you missed it, my other three children are well behaved "straight A" students. Abby is just wired different and we have to adjust for that.
Her father and I also stress in the household that we do not compare her to her brothers, she is her own person with talents in other areas.