bvw, posts like yours are one reason i joined fr. simply brilliant, although, id have to take this up with my god to see if its jsut a bit out of kosher.
Failing that a couple hundred pounds of explosives* under the seat should catch a bunch of 'rioters' by surprise while they stand around admiring their handy work.
*wrapped with bacon, of course.
[Whoops! That part isn't Kosher]