Major League Pitcher Allegedly Tries To Set Employees On Fire

AP ^ | 11/8/2005

[ConservativeStatement]

Pitcher Ugueth Urbina has been arrested on a charge of attempted murder in his home country of Venezuela.

Caracas, Venezuela -- Police said Ugueth Urbina and a group of men allegedly attacked several employees at his family home using machetes and tried to set them on fire. Urbina's lawyer has said the pitcher was sleeping at the time and was not involved.

Urbina has insisted he had nothing to do with the violence that broke out at his home last month. Police said five workers were injured in the incident, and one of them suffered burns on the back and right arm.

[ConservativeStatement]

I wonder if he is a Chavez supporter?

[Steve_Seattle]

"Police said Ugueth Urbina and a group of men allegedly attacked several employees at his family home using machetes and tried to set them on fire."

I didn't know he'd converted to Islam. [sarcasm]

[JeeperFreeper]

New motivational technique??? Work harder or you'll be fired takes on a new meaning.

[avg_freeper]

I imagine that setting your employees on fire without a properly cleared burn radius is a serious code violation in Venezuela.

[doug from upland]

He didn't participate. He was warming up in the bullpen.

[Charles Henrickson]

Ugueth Urbina

Or as he was known when he played in Boston: "Yewz."

[Eagles Talon IV]

MAJOR LEAGUE PITCHER ALLEGEDLY TRIES TO SET EMPLOYEES ON FIRE"

This really adds new meaning to the baseball term, "bringin' heat"

[HitmanLV]

Look, this must be a cultural misunderstanding...

[theDentist]

You know what burns my ass?

Ugueth Urbina

[brownsfan]

Going for fireman of the year?

[ConservativeStatement]

Let's look at this for a second. His initials are U U, as in "double U" or W. Oh oh Bush's fault.

[hang 'em]

What we have here is a failure to incinerate.

[Charles Henrickson]

This gives me occasion to "use" my stock of Ugueth Urbina nicknames:

Yewz
"Champagne" Urbina
"What You See Is What" Ugueth Urbina
Ugueth "Is As Good As Mine" Urbina
Ugueth "U-Turn" Urbina
W

[cripplecreek]

Urgeth Umberto Urbina.

You don't get initials like that just anywhere.

[Charles Henrickson]

What's your middle screen name? "cranberry" or something?

[cripplecreek]

Cueball

[martin_fierro]

This thread is gUy.

[cripplecreek]

That should be captioned "The prima donna and the pyro"

[ConservativeStatement]

Is Rolaids still the sponsor? He'll be needing some.

[mikrofon]

Urbina's instructions to "Cut the staff and light a fire under the remaining workers" were apparently a bit misinterpreted...