LOL!! I was just waiting for your obligation upon me. I can afford to be as smug as you.
Since you don't know what constitutes a theory, can I assume that in your imaginary classroom we can also teach the Navajo, Inuit, and Australian Aborigine creation myths as well? awesome!
And here we have the classic definition man/woman. You are now the universal standard. So your assertion is no other theory exist because of your definition of theory? You can not internalize that Intelligent Design is a theory as well? Here are your definitions
A set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena.
The branch of a science or art consisting of its explanatory statements, accepted principles, and methods of analysis, as opposed to practice: a fine musician who had never studied theory.
A set of theorems that constitute a systematic view of a branch of mathematics.
Abstract reasoning; speculation: a decision based on experience rather than theory.
A belief or principle that guides action or assists comprehension or judgment: staked out the house on the theory that criminals usually return to the scene of the crime.
An assumption based on limited information or knowledge; a conjecture.
Keep on studying that flat earth stuff. all the rest of us "dummies" will just frustrate your advanced thinking ;)