Addendum to my other post:
Let them make it formal by being married in a church. I understand that several will do it now. No monetary benefit at all, no government recognition. If gays want to be equal, the religious idea of marriage is more important than the government idea anyway. God ultimately sanctions marriage. (This doesn't mean I think God is pleased with some ministers marrying gays) I am 100 percent sure that most gays who are making a big deal out of this are doing it because of money. I stand by that.
Just don't call it marriage.
By the way, if memory serves, the leadership of the gay rights groups weren't that interested in gay marriage as an issue, five or ten years ago. They wanted to work on civil rights for gay people for employment, which they figured was do-able politically. Plus, some of the leadership of the gay groups are into the notion that marriage is contrary to the idea of sexual liberation. The gay marriage issue suddenly appeared a few years ago because individual gay couples decided to sue certain jurisdictions for the right. The leadership of the Democratic Party were not happy campers, correctly foreseeing that this would cost them close elections. Here in the Louisville area, the big local megachurch worked hard to get out the anti-gay-marriage vote, and this may have turned a very close senatorial race to Republican in Kentucky.