I learned how unfunny and personally destructive scientology was 30 years ago, from friends who got sucked in.
That's why it worries me to see virgin Katie get preggers. I had cherished some hope that Scientologists were sterile; but darned if they aren't able to reproduce! Perhaps we could control them by introducing swarms of sterile males into their breeding population. It works pretty well for controlling Mediterranean fruit flies.
Damn. At least some of my friends just got addicted to drugs. What's to say that Katie isn't still a virgin? Do you lose your virginity if you undergo invitro fertilization?
I like your plan about introducing sterile scientoloflies into the colonies, but maybe they aren't allowed to breed without permission, in the first place???