[Nik Naym]

"...Before Dougherty sat down, Cohen says he tried to grab "one of those waxed-paper, oval-shaped products that establishes a protective layer between a toilet seat and the skin." Dougherty calls it an "ass gasket" and suspects it would have saved his butt. Whatever one calls them, they were gone that day."

That one cracked me up. "ass gasket".

My theory: The perpetrator used CA "gel" type glue. This is super glue that is a thick gel. Blobs of this stuff will not cure for a long time. I have used this and found it to still be "wet" as much as 15 minutes after dropping a good sized blob on the workbench. Oh, and I found out the hard way that even after that long, it STILL sticks instantly to skin pressed into it.

[BikerTrash]

...it STILL sticks instantly to skin...

And it sticks instantly to toilet paper too, which he should have used to wipe the seat. It's a public restroom for cryin' out loud.

He either did this himself to cover some of his medical expenses or he learned something he should have known for 50+ years now.

Maybe.

It happened in Boulder, after all.