Ewwwww. Even my children know to wipe the seat before sitting down in a public restroom. I think I'll tell them about this story, just to make the habit stick.
Geez. When are our poor, our lost, our boneheads, going to take responsibility for themselves? It is common knowledge that toilet seats are sometimes left in a manor that requires tiding up before placing your tender bottom in contact with said foreign substance.
GO TO JAIL, DO NOT COLECT $200.