[DollyCali]

TRICK OR TREAT FUN

Ten Signs You Are Too Old For
Halloween Trick or Treating

You get winded from knocking on the door..

You have to have someone chew the candy for you..

You ask for high fiber candy only..

When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over..

People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask..

When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest..

By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders..

You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece..

You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker..

You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.


Riddles & Groaners

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license!

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria!

Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the "ghoul" line!

What do you call a ghost who gets too close to a bonfire?
A toasty-ghosty!

What is a vampires favorite holiday?
fangsgiving!

Why do ghosts shiver and moan?
It's drafty under that sheet!

What instrument do skeletons play?
Trom-BONE!

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck!

How can you tell that vampires like baseball?
Because every night they turn into bats!

Why are vampires like false teeth?
They come out at night!

What the one thing you can't give the headless horseman?
A headache!

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get a head in life!

What's a ghost's favorite store?
Any store that's having a white sale!

Where do ghosts like to go on vacation?
Mali-boo!

What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet!

How much does a Pirate pay to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear!

What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet!

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
Milk is good for the bones!

What was the little witch's favorite subject in school?
Spell-ing!

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?
A sour puss!

Where did the vampire open his savings account?
At the blood bank!

Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea!

What is Transylvania?
Dracula's terror-tory!

Where does Dracula like to water ski?
Lake Eerie!

Why was the monster athlete so happy?
He won a ghoul medal at the Olympics!

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Screams!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula!

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!

Where do ghosts go on Saturday night?
Anywhere they can boo-gie!

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they might relax and unwind!

Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His Ghoulfriend!

What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to!

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed!

Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank?
He got caught drinking on the job!

Why do boy ghosts have so much trouble dating?
Their girlfriends can see right through them!

Why aren't there any famous skeletons?
They're a bunch of nobodys!

What does a ghost say when something is really neat?
Ghoul!

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with!

[The Mayor]

October 29, 2005

What Did You Say?

Read:
Psalm 15

Who may dwell in Your holy hill? He who walks uprightly. —Psalm 15:1-2

Bible In One Year: Luke 4-6

At Santa Clara University in California, a researcher conducted a study of 1,500 business managers that revealed what workers value most in a supervisor. Employees said they respected a leader who shows competence, has the ability to inspire workers, and is skillful in providing direction.

But there was a fourth quality they admired even more—integrity. Above all else, workers wanted a manager whose word was good, one who was known for his honesty, and one whom they could trust.

While this finding holds special significance for Christian managers, it also says something to everyone who claims to be a follower of Jesus. Integrity should characterize all believers, no matter what their position may be.

According to Psalm 15, truth is at the heart of every word and deed of a godly person. Since the God of the Bible always keeps His word, it follows that a godly person will be known as one who does what he says he will do.

We all need to be more careful about our integrity. Do those around us admire us for our honesty? Does the Lord see us faithfully doing what we said we would do—even when it hurts? (Psalm 15:4). —Mart De Haan

If your word is "good as gold"
And your actions prove it true,
Others hearing what you say
Know they can depend on you. —Hess

Only by being on the level can we rise in the eyes of others.

FOR FURTHER STUDY
How Can I Find Satisfaction In My Work?