Dear Cicero,
It was easy to miss. As you point out, this is not precisely tight, succinct, clear prose.
However, if you read it aloud, and imagine it as a speech being given to a certain type of audience, it isn't as bad (or as unintentionally funny) as if you're reading it as a formal written document. I can imagine it as the work of a mediocre speaker trying to sound "off the cuff," and "unrehearsed."
Personally, though, I'd be embarrassed to give such a speech.
sitetest
Me, too.
There was a period of my life when I was condemned to give banal speeches, but I tried to keep them short and sweet.