Nerf bat (or those "TV bricks" they had once upon a time) would work, and clear your conscience of any guilt.
Hey that's a thought! Catch her out in the open, live, and heft it up like it's heavy, throw it right at her head and watch her cringe and cover like a child, and then watch it bounce off and float away in the wind, and point and laugh after she's made a total fool of herself on live tv. Boy if I could make that happen, it would be a beautiful thing. 8)
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Jordon did it! Scared off all the black atheletes because they figured if Air couldn't do it, then screw it! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! 8) That's GREAT!!!