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Posted on 10/23/2005 11:52:21 AM PDT by Paleo Conservative
Who you gonna call in these dire football times?
May I suggest Mr. Jerry Jones of Irving, Texas?
But actually, I'm late with that idea.
Jim Souhan, a columnist for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, demanded in print last week that Mr. Jones be used as a spiritual guidance counselor for Minnesota's out-of-control bow-wows.
Funny, huh, how times do change.
Recapping the latest story that has the NFL laughing.
It must have seemed like a good idea at the time.
NFL team has an open week on the schedule, so, hey, why don't we do the manly bonding thing:
Rent out a couple of party boats for some lake cruising.
Lots of booze, bring your own drugs, and does anybody know any good hookers?
And so two weeks ago, off they sailed, at least 17 of them since identified as members of the Minnesota Vikings.
Also aboard were about 30 females, most of whom have been IDed as fly-in road lizards from an Atlanta escort service.
Right away, we have an insult to the street-working women of the Twin Cities. The local girls weren't good enough?
The unsuspecting boat crew quickly became upset, and a 3-hour cruise was cut to an hour. The captain returned to port, and ordered everyone off his two ships.
Graphic details soon hit print of lewd behavior and such.
The police got involved, then the FBI. Something about the Mann Act, which is a federal law that makes it illegal to transport two-legged darlings across state lines for the purpose of prostitution.
Mann Act? These are football players, not lawyers. How were they supposed to know?
So we've now got a big stink up north. There is much outrage about the football team being an embarrassment to two cities, and one entire state.
Even worse than the Mann Act, the Vikings were also charged with a Dog Act violation on Sunday, the next game after this story broke publicly. They played like poodles in losing 28-3 to the Bears.
But the hookers' cruise was also only the latest in a long line of boys-gone-bad activity from Vikings players.
The Bears' game was also the latest in a crash-and-burn season for this team. Picked as a prime Super Bowl contender by some, the record is 1-4. And that's an ugly, disorganized, nobody-seems-to-care, 1-4.
Where is Randy Moss when you need somebody to blame?
The Vikings' off-the-field activity, of course, is a rather familiar one in local precincts.
It's the Cowboys of 10 years ago, except the only football difference is the Cowboys of that era had Super Bowl rings, and aging but still elite talent.
The Vikings are a flawed team. Kinky, yes. But flawed.
But Jones is the man with the blueprint on how to clean it up. It wasn't like he came up with his master plan in one or two years. It took him awhile to even move past denial.
And then Jerry, in the late 1990s, uttered, "I get it. I really get it." That meant the message he was receiving from fans and sponsors was to clean up Valley Ranch, or else there would be hip- pocket ramifications.
And he has.
No one at Valley Ranch this week , starting with Jones, will even come close to verbally touching this Vikings mess. As I was told by one staffer, "When we were going through the same thing, we didn't like reading some so-called expert in another league city telling us what we needed to do. And we aren't doing it to the Vikings."
But as a league official said Wednesday, "No owner has put the time, the manpower, and the money into this one area like Jerry Jones has. Because of that, the Cowboys have gone from one extreme to the other."
Plus, the Cowboys are the same as most NFL teams. They don't pop off, because they don't know when the next phone call from the cops will come.
Individual screw-ups will happen. That's a given. But with the Cowboys of the past decade, and the Vikings of today, it's an extremely flawed organization when it becomes a collective, continuing process.
An institutional lack of control is the obvious culprit.
With Bill Parcells as the coach, who even thinks about this kind of stuff happening again at Valley Ranch? The same theory applied when Jimmy Johnson was in charge.
Parcells has had his individual headaches in the past. Mr. Lawrence Taylor in New York comes to mind.
Jimmy, his critics will say, was always one fresh horse ahead of the posse when it came to a team going bonkers. He left here right before the "White House" was uncovered and there were police busts galore. The same goes at the University of Miami.
But The Jimster, on his watch, kept the lid slammed shut at Valley Ranch and at Miami. So has Parcells since he arrived in town.
"Probably because of a few things with the Giants, Parcells is more diligent than he's ever been," said the league official. "He is on top of this stuff. He tolerates nothing."
But at Valley Ranch, the changed started at the top -- with Jones. He pays for the best in the business to work with players on behavioral issues. Individual failures have happened: Dwayne Goodrich. Quincy Carter. But it's strictly been individual failures.
In Minnesota, there's a new owner. His original investment is pushing $800 million. And he's also campaigning the state pols for a new stadium, which appeared to be close to happening. Until now. Nothing scares politicians like bad publicity.
The Vikings have become a Minnesota and NFL joke. Everybody is laughing.
The new owner needs help, pronto.
Who you gonna call?
He might start with the guy who has been there.
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As a classy Packer fan I will refrain from piling on....for the moment, at least.
That thought must be going across Zigy's mind over and over again ever since this Ghost Ship returned to port.
Classy and Packer fan? Together? Is that an oxymoron?
Just kidding.
I said classy...I didn't specify low or high.. :{)
I often thought that is why New Orleans and Houston had a hard time getting off the bottom after years of trying. The fans blame the owners but the problem is the culture that surrounds the team. The owners can and should get on top of that unless they are too naive to know.
Week 6...Bears 28....Yikes 3. Always good to beat the Viqueens! BTW, I just love your graphic! Also just checked and the Pack lead the Queens 17-10, so it looks as though their slide continues. I wouldn't be surprised to see them finish 1-15! OK, I know wishful thinking!
These are grown adults engaging in consential sex, albeit in public, but regardless, this is scandalous to be sure, but it's about men and women having sex.
What if they were gay? The ACLU would be defending their "lifestyle" and all the consternation over this would be called homophobic. Anyone decrying the situation would be infringing on their "rights" to live their lives as they want. The press and the nation at large would quickly shut their collective pie-holes and the situation would pass into the ether. How on earth have we criminalized heterosexual relations to the point that this story is bigger than the Beatles, while a similar story, about homosexuality, written by John Cloud in TIME magazine went by without a peep. In the article Cloud wrote about a homosexual sex party that he attended at a house outside DC. Anonymous gay sex, UNPROTECTED gay sex, drug use, alcohol abuse, the gambit was run, but the story went by as "their lifestyle" and remained untouched.
Not that the Vikings weren't wrong, but the story has grown to such a point that it's taking on it's own life, while at the heart of it it's about MEN having sex with WOMEN.
flame on
If you look at the link for the graphic, it is hosted on a website called packerpalace.com
Here's another image from that site.
What if they were gay?
No, it's about men and women having sex in a public place where they could not avoid being seen by unwilling bystanders. Would you like it if a gay couple started kissing in front of your kids?
17-10 Packers at the end of 3 qtrs.
9ers 7
Redskins 45
:-)
The same argument could be applied to these guys.
It's on MTV nightly. I don't want to see it, they have expressed to me that they don't want to see it, but it has become mainstream. As I said the public sex is scandalous, but the entire situation is blown out of proportion IMO.
Fine them for the public displays, make the arrests as necessary, but this story is not as big as it has become.
No, I'm not a Vikings fan, Steelers for me.
Titty bars and drugs go hand in hand.
ViQueens 20
Packers 17
3:10 to go in the 4th
Vikings may win the division.
Vikes 20 Pack 17 3:00 Remaining.
20 - 17 Vikings with three minutes to go. They ain't dead yet! I am so so glad I didn't take Daunte Culpepper in my fantasy league.....
OH MY!!!!
56 yard field goal with 2 seconds to win the game..
23-20 Vikes
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