[oh8eleven]

How does one turn the light off, particularly on the silverware example?
You plunge it into a medium-rare steak!

[Betty Jane]

Thanks for the laughs guys. There seem to be problems with each of your solutions. For instance, after closing the drawer, the service for twelve will emit an eery light and my psycho neighbor will probably come over to worship his alien leader.

Swallowing the fork would probably upset my husband. Now not only will I be the typical shrew wife asking why he was so late, I will also have the ability to blind him every time I shout at him.

Rubbing the table leg might get me put in a special place with soft walls or listed in some sex offender registry.

Plunging my fork into a steak? It sounds reasonable, until one realizes that a bit of food will have to always stay on said fork. That seems a bit unsanitary.