Posted on 10/17/2005 7:01:29 AM PDT by grundle
http://www.diaperfreebaby.org/FAQ.htm
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Elimination Communication (EC)?
Just as parents learn to read their baby's signs for sleep and hunger, they can also learn to read their baby's signs for needing to eliminate. In fact, most parents already know what some of these signs are, such as the straining facial expression or the telltale grunting and bearing down that precede a soiled diaper. Practicing Elimination Communication (EC) is just a matter of responding a little differently to these signals from your baby. Taking your baby to the potty can be easy and rewarding!
Why EC?
A few common reasons that parents choose to practice EC are: to recognize and respond to baby's self-awareness; to promote close communication between child and parent; to prevent diaper rash; to avoid struggles often associated with diaper changing and toilet training; and, as side benefits, to save money and use fewer environmental resources.
Don't the experts warn against potty training babies before they are ready?
It's important to note that this is Elimination Communication, not training. This is a gentle process that follows the infant's cues and needs, and is never coercive or punitive. As such, this practice is consistent with the baby's development and maturity.
How do I know when to offer the potty?
As a culture we have been taught to ignore the signals babies give when they need to eliminate. You can learn when it is time to offer the potty much the way you learn when to offer the baby a chance to eat or sleep - by picking up on signals such as fussiness, distractibility, and vocalizations. By choosing to consider these signals in a new way, you will gradually be able to recognize your baby's signals and patterns.
Does this mean that you never use diapers?
EC can be done with or without diapers. Many parents practicing EC do use diapers or training pants for backup or during certain times of the day. Whether a baby wears diapers or underwear, parents change them quickly whenever wet or soiled so that the child stays accustomed to the feeling of clean underclothes.
If a baby doesn’t wear a diaper, isn’t it very messy?
Often when people first hear of the idea of a baby using the potty (and not using diapers) they wrongly assume it will be a messy process. In fact, parents who diaper their baby spend a lot more time in contact with their baby's bowel movements than ECers do. EC'd babies will have the occasional BM that doesn't go in the potty, but diapered babies have their BMs in their pants every time and parents spend a lot of time wiping those BMs off their babies bottoms. A bowel movement in the toilet or potty is flushed or washed down, and wiping a bottom after a BM in the toilet takes all of one second and one small wipe. Also, EC homes have no stinky diaper pail.
How can I find out more?
Come join us for a local meeting! We can answer questions about: how to get started, specific positions for holding the baby, starting with older babies, recognizing and responding to our intuitive sense, and how to help keep baby interested in using the potty throughout various stages of development. There are also many good resources online and in print. For a full list, please see our Articles and Links sections and get in touch with your local DiaperFreeBaby contact.
It is no "challenge" to let a baby run your life around his/her bodily functions.
There are still barbaric cultures where the adults squat whenever and wherever they please.
I guess some countries other than the USA would call this "enlightened"..I call it lazy, dirty, and disgusting.
And as for potty training, kids are developmentally ready for it around 2 for girls and 3 for boys. Remember that there are a lot of kids with autism these days, or other neurological problems; these kids (usually boys) can take longer. Kids can train really fast (in one day, sometimes), but do not disparage the ones who cannot just because you did it easily with yours. I've trained 2 out of 3 kids so far and every child is different. My son with autism simply REFUSED to use the potty until 3.5,and then was perfectly trained in one day. I guess it had to be his idea. LOL.
And all you people who are tempted to post a reply that your son was trained by nineteen months, and it's all nonsense, boys can be trained by age one-- please don't! I don't want to hear it! :)
Dawn dishwashing detergent is what's used to clean up animals from oil spills. Use a 1:70 ratio to water. This is from a organic chemist friend of mine. If that doesn't work, I'd suggest a buzz cut. It'll grow back and maybe if it bothers him enough, you can use it to convince him to stay out of the Desitin next time.
My kids were all three when they potty trained, not that I didn't try by sitting them on the toilet regularly. However, with three small kids at home at one time, it was not worth the aggrevation to fight it. They could win. When they finally trained, it was easy; they did it themselves and had virtually no accidents. It only took about a week.
Actually this is not easy. I do this with my two year old and it's been going on for six months now. The outcome is she tells me that she has a prize in her diaper after the fact. I believe I have confused the child be constantly asking " potty" "potty" "potty" 100 times a day. Anyway she still poops in pants and then she says, "it's disgusting". LOL
OOOps, sorry. I can't believe I didn't notice you said "she" and "her" BLUSH. Buzz cut won't work.
Which is perfectly fine...if one of the parents will be with the child day and night to learn the signs and be there to take the baby to the toilet.
In todays society here, which parent will be the one to give up their day job and at which point does the family file bankruptcy?
I've also found that "dandruff shampoo" (Denorex in particular) is more effective at removing motor oil than regular shampoo.
My two girls were trained at three and a half and three and a quarter. They also walked at a minimum of 14 months. No problems with them now. I guess it's just got to do with small motor control. There is a process that occurs to the nerves beginning at birth called myelination that covers the nerves with the Myelin sheath and allows the nerve impulses to travel along the nerves to their destination. If the sheath isn't there, the signal gets lost on the way. The nerves get myelinated from the brain outward which is why babies take so long to develop small motor control. There is speculation (by Drs. Moore and Moore, a husband/wife team of educators) that this is some of the "problem" with dyslexia. The optic nerve is among the last to be myelinated. That being said, it's just possible that the variation in kids being potty trained may simply be the result of the physical process of myelination and literally beyond their control. The book by Drs. Moore and Moore is called "Better Late than Early." Excellent reading for anyone interested in their childs' learning process.
I think it's worst to train babies to pee and poop in their diapers. We hear our babes cues for hunger and need for sleep, it would make sense that they also give clues for elimination. This is not easy, I do this on a part time basis w/ our 4 mo old. My reasons for doing it: he will know earlier than most toddlers where to eliminate and because I know I wouldn't like sitting in my own pee or poop...why would he?
>>> ROTFLMAO <<<
...There goes my keyboard...
I am with you...both my boys were potty trained between 2 1/2 and 3 yrs of age...I did put them on the potty earlier, but they just seemed disinterested, and saying "potty, potty, potty" numerous times throughout the day were ignored...they actually did show interest by 2 1/2 yrs old, and were virtually trained within the week...
Everyone just has their own way of doing this...
I had a girlfriend whose husband always seemed neurotic to me...she explained his mom was an absolute neat freak, and could not stand baby diapers...so when her baby(my friends husband)was less than 5months old, she made him sit on his 'potty chair', and I guess the greatest part of her time was spent with the baby, trying to make him poop and pee in his 'chair', so she would not have to wash so many nasty diapers(this was long ago before the advent of disposable diapers)...I dont know about anyone else, but insisting on being potty trained around the age of 5 months is just plain nuts...
Thats just me tho...
That's the thing that elimination communication is not. It's not about forcing your baby to go, it's following their cues and in turn they will follow ours. if they don't have to go when you place them over a potty than you try again later.
Indeed, age 3 is OK for boys...it took both my boys till age 3 to be fully potty trained(bowel trained at about 2 1/2, and pee trained by 3...sorry for being so explicit, but at least with my boys, this is how it was)
There was a thread bout potty training on FR, more than a year ago, and when I explained when my boys were potty trained, and that it was more or less the time when they were ready, not when I was ready...I was promptly called a lot of nasty names from a bunch of pursed-lip, nosy parker, types, who thought their way of potty training was sent from God himself from Bible, straight to their ears...
Common sense should be the rule when potty training...when a child is ready, he is ready...for some that is earlier than others, the same as it is for sitting up, crawling, walking etc...all little ones have their own individual times when they are ready for a new skill, and when they are ready to master it, they will..(not saying that a 4 or 5 yr old still in diapers is acceptable, that probably indicates some real problem)...but it is hardly worth an argument to try to make the case that potty training being fully accomplished by age 18 months or 2 yrs or 3 yrs of age, is of some great consequence in a childs life...
My first was trickier with his "differences" (highly functioning autism) but was trained by 3.5. My second was trained AFTER his third birthday at some point.
You are doing just fine! Try the tinkle targets (baby catalogs like One Stap Ahead probably have them, or ball up some colored TP!), very fun, and after he watches Daddy do it he will want to try!
What I will never do is use pullups in the day on a regular basis. They can become a crutch. I know some kids need them at night for a while, and I can see it for long airline flights so you don't have to take too many clothing changes. But on normal days, once out of diapers, I'd use regular underpants. Good luck!!
What are people thinking?
It's funny, my 17 yr old who walked at 15 mos. and potty trained at 3 1/2 and is still somewhat uncoordinated today had a 1510 SAT score in 11th grade. I got no end of grief about potty training at the time. I talked to a psychologist friend of mine about it at the time and his opinion was, when she's ready, she's ready and he hadn't seen a kid going into kindergarten in diapers yet. Yes, I tried but I wasn't going to start a battle that I was going to lose. I didn't want her to know that she could win at something with me. She never considered a bath punishment anyway. I would have been concerned if she had gone much longer but I knew it was a will thing. Guess which I'd rather have today?
My feeling is, why worry about something that will be a non-issue by 18... or most likely 3 or 4?
How or when you were toilet trained rarely comes up during college interviews, job interviews, or even fond reminiscing!
I'm with you. I've been in situ where it was obvious to ME the baby was about to "cut loose" and the mom sat there, bovine-like, saying "oh yeah, you're right. I'll change her later."
I'm starting to research this as we're expecting our first next year. One thing I've become convinced of, judging from the availability and selection of EC consumer products being marketed by companies like Baby Bjorn:
1. This ain't new.
2. It ain't restricted to the "Third World."
3. There's plenty more bovine-like mommies out there.
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