Dont know that I agee with you about the way to show children that you love them, is to stay with them no matter what....
I worked for a woman who was married to a very abusive man...she remained married to him, as both parents were Catholic, married in the Catholic Church, and did not believe in divorce, for any reason...
But this man regularly beat my boss up, and when he got tired of smacking her around, he started in on the two boys...Now, ,this was during the mid 1960s and I dont know if even the police would have intervened in this mess...
One nite, he started in beating up this woman...then he physically picked her up, and threw her out of the house, keeping the two boys inside...she ran to her parents, seeking help, and fearing what had happened to the boys...shortly after that, the two boys appeared..apparently they heard their mom being thrown out, and quickly dressed, hoping to try to escape through a window, which they did successfully...but my boss says that when they arrived at her parents house, the younger boy, much shorter and thinner, than the older oby, was dressed in his older brothers clothes, and the older boy had crammed himself into his younger brothers clothes...the sight of her two boys, scared to death, ,crying, and dressed in each others clothing, ,convinced her, that regardless of what the Catholic Church thought, enough was enough, ,and she was going to get a divorce...
Which she did...both she and her boys did have to have intense therapy, but seemed to be managing and making progress...then she met a wonderful man, who loved her and her boys...she married him, and they remained married for decades...and her two boys, were ever thankful, that she took them out of that horrible situation, where she and they were regularly were beaten and abused by a man who thought of them as nothing more than punching bags...I dont think that either the wife of the children ever believed this man loved them, as much as he abused them...
Of course, not all cases of family problems, or dysfunction are as extreme...and I do think that many people do divorce for the most trival and ridiculous of reasons...
But I just dont believe that we can make a blanket statement, that kids always benefit from the parents remaining together..sometimes the parents staying together causes greater harm to the children...
I responded to your point in post 25. But I think many people who contemplate divorce aren't even close to anything like you've described. Rather, if pressed, they insist that something more like "emotional abuse" on the part of their spouse is driving them apart. Sometimes (I know from watching it in family members) the so-called abuse consists in the wife/mother of the family getting older and flabbier and shorter-tempered than the hot chick at the office.
Half of marriages end in divorce. You can't describe that many marriages as "abusive" relationships.
I personally think that divorce should be avoided but there are times when it is preferable.