40-50 years ago, it would have been virtually impossible for a 17 year old college freshman to be conducting any kind of "relationship" with a 38 year old male felon, while away at college. Parents who aren't sure their teenager is ready for the absolute freedom now guaranteed by all colleges, have no choices other than to either send the kid off and hope for the best, or keep the kid living at home and attending college classes locally, thus losing the benefit of a protected transitional stage on the road to adult independence.
How did this happen? How did tax- and tuition-paying parents let it happen?
I'm not sure that parents even now realize it. Colleges can't tell parents anything. Even if a child were to end up in an emergency room, parents can't be called if they're 18 or over. Smart colleges have found slick ways of letting persistent parents know things that they can't legally tell, but I still think there's a huge problem. Parents foot the bill, but colleges can't tell them their children's grades. So they can literally flunk out before parents know there's a problem. My college student lives at home and I'm SO grateful. We can discuss her required ridiculous PC courses at the dinner table and the very fact that she lives at home imposes an order that she would love to be rid of (mom laughs, but lovingly).
Things just fell through the cracks and we're gonna have to do something drastic (like change adulthood to 21) to save kids' lives.
It's not the only option. A number of stricter religious colleges have single-sex dorms with restricted and monitored visitation. There's signs that more of them may be trending back in that direction.
My kids are going to have the choice of paying their own way, living at home and commuting to somewhere close by, or going to one of those strict church schools.
EXCELLENT question! Obviously, the students wanted as much "freedom" as possible. Obviously, too, the schools wanted as little hassle (for as much cash) as possible. But it was the parents who had to agree, and they (really, we) did.
I remember when it really hit me how little interest the schools had in the welfare of students living in their dorms. At 16, my son as a freshman at Georgetown. His roommate had very serious mental problems. The roommate's closest friend had committed suicide shortly before the year began, and the boy seemed to be trying to follow suit. He never attended class, and he drank constantly, sometimes failing to come in at night. My son went to the residence hall assistants, to the director, and even to the priests on staff, but got no help--or even concern. Finally, he contacted the boy's parents and got him removed from school and taken for treatment. A 16-year-old should not have had to do that.
So true. Even 25-30 years ago many colleges had gender-segegated dorms with visitation rules and curfews. From what I hear now, many roommates are fornicating in plain view of whoever else is in the room.