Posted on 10/05/2005 5:35:46 PM PDT by SJackson
The frost is on the pumpkins, the hay is in the barn and our bedtime conversations are starting to have that familiar hunting season ring to them.
As the days shorten and we begin spending evenings around the woodstove, our cozy bedtime chats usually begin with him saying something like, "I think I'll pick up a box of this new rimfire super-charged blow-your-eyes-out-the-back-of-your-head-with-the-recoil ammo and give it a try."
I've found over the years that the best response is a simple, "Yes, dear." Actually, a grunt would work fine too. At this time of year it's only sound, not content, that registers.
I've tried saying things like, "Oh, let me read you this part in my book where he sweeps her breathlessly into his arms," or, "Why don't I just set your double-barrel here so you can talk to it instead of bothering me?"
But neither hints nor sarcasm register when dealing with a man in the throes of his annual bout of hunting affective disorder.
Most people have heard of SAD, or seasonal affective disorder. It causes a certain light-sensitive percentage of the population to become moody and depressed when the days shorten in fall and winter.
Hunting affective disorder, or HAD, affects a high percentage of male Wisconsin residents. The primary symptom is that their brain circuits short out in early fall and anything not having to do with hunting no longer appears on their radar.
In terms of mental abilities, the HAD sufferer is just not there anymore. A month ago, I could have asked whether he'd talked to his mother lately and I would've gotten a coherent answer. Now he can't remember if he has a mother.
He's developed a tendency to drift off downstairs because he suddenly needs to completely disassemble his deer rifle to make sure there are no rust spots in the whatyamacallit and while doing so drops a miniscule but critical screw behind the reloading bench.
This entails several hours of excavating through old shot-shell hulls, half-full bottles of gun cleaning fluids, dust bunnies and various nameless small doodads that sounded like a neat thing at the gun shop but are now mercifully retired.
By the time the screw is recovered, I've finished paying the bills, called the kids, cleaned up the kitchen and gone to bed, all without even a passing thought about rimfire cartridges.
The long evening phone conversations with his brothers about the annual duck trip have begun. They start with "don't forget to bring the camp pillows" and then tail off into reminiscing about the time Tenner's dog stole a duck from Geary's dog and there was a big dog fight and how when the hunters tried to break it up they nearly swamped the boat and wasn't that a hoot?
I have to confess that some of the stories are pretty good.
But upland game and duck season HAD pale in comparison to deer season HAD.
Now the rituals start. We wash the hunting clothes in scentless soap and hang them out on the screen porch. The rifles have to be sighted in. Stands are checked, and there is wailing and gnashing of teeth over how the firing lanes didn't get cleared last spring. The kit must be assembled, with sharp knife, tow rope, compass and so on. The license is lovingly inserted into the plastic case and pinned on the parka with one of those silly-looking giant safety pins.
Lastly comes the organizing of the guys. Who is coming when to hunt where and do they want to sit in a stand, still hunt or drive? Can Eddie sleep in Phil's room the night before opener since Phil won't be home 'til the following weekend? Paul said he'd bring chili, so we need to make the cornbread. Randy wants the stand on the west 40 so Butch will need to do his still hunting out back.
Once this is done, I have to make my decision. Do I want to:
A: Run the coffee and chili detail, sitting in the kitchen while the hunters wander in and out and have endless discussions of current strategy and previous hunts?
B: Buy a license and go out and sit on a stand for a while where at least it's quiet and there's no dishes to do, though I know I'm going to freeze?
C: Call a friend and go shopping?
If I liked to shop, this would not be such an issue.
There's one thing I won't do. I'm not going to clean up behind the reloading bench. If I did that, there wouldn't be anything to keep him busy in fall when it's too dark outside to hunt.
Ann Hansen covers news in west-central Wisconsin and is the country options and master stockman sections editor for The Country Today. She may be reached at shansen@bloomer.net.
My freezer overfloweth with venison, but I will be back out in the stands next month. :)
For some reason, when I read this, I thought of you. ;)
Now you're just taunting us.
Hunting is good.
FMCDH(BITS)
I used to date a girl from Wisconsin.
Shot her first buck at 15.
I was 19 before I got my first.
Deer, that is.
I am sure you will find this hilarious!!
Well there is hunting season, and then there is the agony of the rest of the year.
Meet me at the corner of Minnesota and Wisconsin, and I'll trade you 10 beaver pelts and a bushel of apples for 10 lbs of venison sausage.
Hey, don't make this a "maybe" list. We can rock 'n roll with an upper midwest newsgroup "ping" on Free Republic.
Here's a few stories with a tad of upper midwest flavor for you -
The Wisconsin DNR has agreed to budget whatever it takes to pay farmers for livestock killed by wolves. The state had originally capped payments at $15,000 for livestock losses with a $250 deductible.
Irate farmers and hunting dog owners flooded DNR meetings and demanded that the caps be removed. Farmers will also be represented on a committee that will establish values for livestock.
Last year the state paid almost $110,000 in compensation for wolf damage to calves, sheep, dogs, farm-raised deer and cows.
The problem, of course, will be proving that animals were attacked by wolves and not dog packs or coyotes. Thus we expect that the familiar cow bell around a cow’s neck will now be replaced by a video camera.
More stories -
Upper Peninsula wolves have now included dachshund as a dietary supplement.
The family dog of a Munising Township couple became dinner for a hungry wolf after it was attacked and carried off in early June.
The woman had let the dachshund out around midnight when the wolf pounced on the dog, about 20 feet from the front door.
“It looked liked an extra-sized German shepherd,” the woman said. “It had her (the dachshund) on the ground in a choke hold. We've never seen anything like this.”
The wolf showed no sign of fear and didn’t run off when the woman yelled at it.
Got three doe last year, hoping to get a buck next month. The deer also overfloweth where I hunt. I think I still have about 15~20 lbs. of big, summer sausage-sized venison sausage. Hot or mild? ;)
Still more -
Serfs in Idaho and Montana now have permission from the federal Sheriff of Notingham to blast away at the king’s wolves chasing livestock.
In March, an Idaho rancher legally shot a female grey wolf after she chased his cattle, stampeding the herd and killing one calf.
This is the first step in returning control of wolf populations to its proper place - states and private property owners.
The federal overlords continue to study the wolf situation in the Upper Peninsula and Wisconsin. Legally shooting a wolf is still illegal.
Then she needs to get herself a real dog, a German Shepherd, this time around!
LOL! Thanks, needed that tonight! :o)
One more -
Michigan ranked dead last in creating new jobs in 2004, losing 45,000, and is near the bottom in income growth, reports the Wall Street Journal.
Our socialist loving governor, Jennifer Granholm, is pressing ahead with a European style tax boondoggle that will heap huge tax breaks on the big three automakers, while passing extra taxes onto retailers, professional services, wholesalers and thousands of small businesses.
Granholm, who’s punished the state with the nation’s highest unemployment rate, is following the playbook of European socialist leaders by picking tax winners and losers.
The state has the highest corporate tax burden in the nation, said the Tax Foundation. And in spite of the high taxes, Michigan lost tax revenue in 2004, only one or two states to do so.
This illustrates perfectly how high taxes can cost a state money.
Meanwhile, Granholm goes ever onward with her $100 million “cool cities’ mischief, picking winners and losers for gerbil lofts, vegetable markets and hot dog stands.
Seeing as how our leaders in the GOP approve of a southern-Mexican invasion - hot, please.
Then of course it starts over again in April when spring turkey season starts. God I love to hunt!
Okay, last Upper Midwest (well, Montana) tidbit -
The denial of a permit to mine copper and silver in Montana illustrates how an established company uses the courts and environmental law to suppress competition and encourage shortages in the market.
Swank jeweler Tiffany joined with Marxists at Earthjustice to oppose the Revett Silver Co. development of the Rock Creek mine on the edge of the Cabinet Mountains Wilderness Area.
Judge Donald Molloy said mining could harm grizzly bears and bull trout, both protected under the federal Endangered Species Act. The judge remained mum on the possible harm that might be inflicted by the bear on the fish.
In a full-page advertisement last year in The Washington Post, Tiffany & Co. demanded the federal government reject the mine and change the nation's nearly 135-year-old mining law. Tiffany failed to note in the ad that by preventing more precious medals onto the market, prices for its jewelry can remain high.
Meanwhile, miners who would’ve worked at the mine remain unemployed, and shareholders and investors see their money manipulated by a socialist system that no longer respects free enterprise.
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