Doug,
How about using a natural, proven way to scare birds - the scare crow.
But since this is Berserkley East we are discusing, and since it is true that perhaps the scariest thing in America is a Liberal - well, there is no way to avoid concluding that hanging Liberals from those wires would work.
If a scare crows work, why not scare Liberals?
I like it.
Put a massive, lighted, George W. Bush on top of the tower.