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To: ohioWfan; onyx
Scene: Red State Stadium, Red State Benjis versus Blue State Pit Bulls, top of the ninth, score 5-2 for the Pit Bulls, bases loaded, two outs. Benjis manager Dubya Bush is fretting over a pinch hitter. He's got Mighty Mike Luttig (.900), Mauler McConnell (.912), and Sluggin' Rogers-Brown (.995) taking practice swings. He casts a wistful glance in their direction and his lips begin to form a command, when Pit Bulls manager Dingy Harry Reid unleashes a flood of foul invective in Bush's direction.

Dingy: "$%#@%*^&! Don't you even dare look at those chumps, chump! You pick one of them and I swear by the ghost of Abner Doubleday I will command the boo birds to boo and the elements to unleash a Hurricane of abuse on you the likes mankind has not seen since Katrina had her way with New Orleans!"

Dubya: "I'll, I'll . . . I'll put who I WANNA up to bat."

Dingy: "Man, you're dense. You ain't gonna put nobody up that I ain't personally approved. If I have to do it, I got the votes to force this thing into a delay until storms make it impossible to continue."

Dubya: "But Frist . . . ."

Dingy (contemptuously): "Frist, the limp wrist? You gotta be kidding. Remember what happened last time you appealed to him? You really want to see him get humiliated again? But I can give you some more of that--a LOT more--if you really want."

Dubya: "I . . . I . . . don't think you are tough as you say you are."

Dingy: "Try me, cowboy." (spits a wad of tobacco onto Bush's shirt)

Dubya (plaintively): "Will you at least let me put SOMEONE up to bat?"

Dingy: "One person."

Dubya: "Who, sir?"

Dingy: "Your batboy, Harriet."

Dubya: "Harriet? I hadn't even thought of her. But you know, she's wiry and tough, even if she is blind in the right eye. And I don't know that anyone else on the team has spent more time holding a bat."

Dingy: "Put her up to bat, slick. I'll even allow her to swing."

Dubya summons Harriet, who squeals with nervousness and delight, and takes her place at the plate.

Scene: High in the stadium are perched three indefatigable Dubya fans.

1st Fan: "He's putting in the batboy Harriet to pinch hit."

2nd Fan: "We just have to trust him. He knows Harriet's true abilities better than any of us."

3rd Fan: "I don't know . . ."

2nd Fan: "Quick! Give me the emergency photo! She's starting to doubt!"

1st Fan hands 2nd Fan a photo of Dubya in a flight suit, who thrusts it in front of 3rd Fan.

3rd Fan: *Squeal* "What a brilliant man, what a leader!"

2,893 posted on 10/04/2005 7:28:54 AM PDT by JCEccles
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To: JCEccles
Wow. That was impressive.

Did you think that up all by yourself, or did you have professional help? ...........Or do you NEED professional help ;)

2,894 posted on 10/04/2005 7:44:23 AM PDT by ohioWfan (If my people which are called by my name will humble themselves and pray......)
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To: JCEccles; ohioWfan

Pathetic.

Did you bother to watch POTUS'S press conference?

Hope so, you might have learned something.

I trust POTUS and his judgement.

Miers is solid. The handwringers are not.


2,900 posted on 10/04/2005 8:38:06 AM PDT by onyx ((Vicksburg, MS) North is a direction. South is a way of life.)
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To: JCEccles

Most Grand Slam hitters have a high stike out ratio in situations as the one you created, ie; Kingman, Jackson, Sosa, Mcguire, Thomas, ect...

I'll take a Ripken 'gapper' or a 'shot down the line' to clear the bases and go for the tie. After all, we do have 'last bats'. Plenty of time to win the game when the momentum is in our favor. Patience.


2,903 posted on 10/04/2005 9:21:35 AM PDT by uptoolate
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