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I've quit beating myself up about certain things.

The checklist that Bon Mots provided is excellent. I printed it out, and showed it to my bf. It describes his ex, my second oldest daughter's bf(didn't a checklist for him-he can't even pretend very well), and a couple of our past employers. All you can do is avoid contact.

Cleckley's book on Psychopaths was first written in 1941, so these types have always been with us. Something like 1 percent of the population by most estimates - which in the USA translates into some 3 million psychopaths out there wreaking havoc.

The best books on the subject have been written by Dr. Robert Hare, the originator of the PCL-R checklist for identifying psychopaths. He is the world's leading expert on psychopaths.

Dr. Hare even consults with police departments. On one such consultation, the police were having trouble getting one psychopath to reveal all of his crimes. After consulting with Hare, he told them to get him to brag, so they went back to him and one of the cops said, "Ah, you ain't nuthin' compared to other serial killers like Gacey, etc..."

Whereupon, the pscyhopath then began bragging about his litany of previously unknown atrocities.