Yes, sexuality is unique and so is every other passion and temptation.
There is absolutely NOTHING that says experiencing a homosexual temptation makes one "gay" anymore than anger and violent impulses make one a "murderer".
There is no distinction made in God's Word when it comes to our personal identity.
All men are born with a sin nature. It's the choices we make and decisions we follow that determine who we are in our heart of hearts before God.
What is your name for people who are sexually attracted to their own sex? You may think that everyone feels these attractions. I don't think this is true.
There are all different degrees of attraction in different people.
We can see something and be tempted and stop it there.
Or we can play with the thought in our mind for a moment and then decide it is wrong and dismiss it.
Or we can go on to fantasize about it but refuse to act on it. Though this is drawing the line awful close to accepting it in our heart.
At what point do we decide that it is one's identity?
I don't know. But I one thing I do know is that a temptation or tendency doesn't automatically equal personal identity.
It is the decisions one makes in his heart and soul that ultimately determines one's identity. At least before God.
I agree and would add that all kinds of desires pop up in the mind. And your point about fantasizing is a good one - and if someone watches movies with a lot of sexual content (what to speak of porn) naturally more desires of a similar nature will pop up in the mind. If someone knows that he/she has a weak area, the intelligent thing to do is avoid activities which aggravate that weakness. People trying to avoid alcohol shouldn't go to bars. People trying to avoid same sex desires should avoid "gay" bars. People trying to avoid smoking marijuana should avoid Humboldt County. People trying to avoid illict sex or overwhelming thoughts of naked women should avoid strip clubs. People trying to avoid chocolate should avoid hanging around the counter at Mrs. See's.
Etc. And the interesting thing is that the more we use our God-given sense of discrimination and our free will to avoid that which tempts us, the less the unwanted desires enter our minds...
If someone wants to have sex with children they are by definition a pedophile. There is something wrong with them before they do anything to act on their desires.
The same goes for homosexuality. The more homosexual temptation a person feels, the more gay they are. If a person is like person 'B' in my prior example, they are extremely gay. This is the definition of gayness that the vast majority of people accept (therefore your statement above is false). I am not saying that people experiencing these feelings are 'sinful'.
All men are born with a sin nature.
Only a small percentage of men want to have sex with other men rather than women. Only a small percentage of men want to have sex with children. These classes of people exist even if you refuse to give them a name. I think almost everyone would agree that the latter group should be kept away from children. As the parent of a son who has considered attending a seminary, I think there are good reasons from keeping the first group away from seminary students.
Good reply, it's why we as Catholics are suppose to avoid the near occasion of sin. We are all tempted and we can either choose to continue to be tempted and then perhaps act on that temptation or we can slam the door on sin.