Toe-mophobia (or, Andrew Sullivan's witch-hunt against a kid's book)

Opinion Journal ^ | 9/28/05 | James Taranto

[shining_city]

Digital Man
Yesterday we noted that Andrew Sullivan has been waging a one-man witch-hunt against "Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!," a cute children's book that tells the story of a pair of boys who open a lemonade stand only to be beset by an army of liberal regulators...

Why is Sullivan so scandalized by "Help! Mom!"? Maybe because it's so true. Check out this story from Salem, Mass., in the Aug. 3 Boston Globe:

"Dominic Serino, 9, and his neighbor, Ryan Decker, 11, were forced Saturday to shut down their lemonade stand at Salem Common after an employee of a nearby sausage vendor called police, complaining that the boys were hurting his sales..."

So what's Sullivan's beef with this book? We suspect it has to do with the scene in which the boys hang a picture of Jesus on their lemonade stand and "Mr. Fussman of the LCLU" shows up to demand they replace it with a picture of a big toe. Once again, Sullivan is taking a brave stand against toe-mophobia.

[shining_city]

Taranto certainly has a way with words. And I see that Andrew Sullivan has been strangely silent on this topic ever since Opinion Journal started poking fun at him.

[dfwgator]

to demand they replace it with a picture of a big toe.

You mean a picture of Sgt Hulka from the movie "Stripes?"

[AmishDude]

The funny thing, it's not actually a children's book. It's satire in the form of a children's book. I have to wonder about Sullivan's sanity sometimes. With most issues, it can be traced back to his sphincter, but with this, it's almost as if he's invested in the book.

[skaterboy]

Sullivan has been so crazy lately its hard to even care anymore...

[joe fonebone]

bump

[TXBSAFH]

My sister in law has bought this book for my 7 year old niece.

[MNJohnnie]

Anyone still belive the fiction about the "conservative" Andrew Sullivan? Hey Andy, would you be happier if we change the title to "Help Mon their are fags under my bed"?

[TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig]

Lighten up Francis.

[fizziwig]

"The funny thing, it's not actually a children's book. It's satire in the form of a children's book."

Yup, like Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Gullivers Travels etc. And of course, a lot of the old Warner Bros cartoons.

[pollyannaish]

Ok, I am completely confused.

I've never read much Sullivan because I don't like his style, so please forgive my ignorance.

I thought that Sullivan was a gay conservative who completely lost his way over the gay marriage deal. But I have been reading lately that he is a liberal.

Anybody have a two sentence description of this guy...I hate to google him when there are children in the house.

[Cecily]

Ann Coulter had his number back when conservatives thought Andy was a conservative. She said he wasn't a conservative, and never had been. I guess she was right.

[r9etb]

I thought that Sullivan was a gay conservative who completely lost his way over the gay marriage deal. But I have been reading lately that he is a liberal.

AmishDude has almost put his finger on it:

With most issues, it can be traced back to his sphincter, but with this, it's almost as if he's invested in the book.

Where I part ways with you, AD, is in saying that Sullivan's not focused on his sphincter this time. He is. To successfully make fun of liberals in any forum, is to threaten Miss Sullivan's political campaign to fool us into thinking that his sphincter is indistinguishable from a standard-issue vagina.

[manwiththehands]

I heard about this book last week after a bunch of liberals were whining and screaming about it. Then I went to Amazon and read some of the reviews. I ordered two copies. Nothing sells a conservative book better than a tantrum from the left.

[CFC__VRWC]

Anybody have a two sentence description of this guy...I hate to google him when there are children in the house.

Sullivan is Christopher Hitchens with half the intellect and twice the direction of flow at his rectum. He's one of the few leftists who actually saw the threat of Islamofascism and sided with the administration on the War on Terror - that's about as "conservative" as he ever was.

[pollyannaish]

Thanks all. I can see why Sullivan might side with conservatives on the WOT. ; )

I deeply appreciate Hitchens. Smart, consistent...but still a leftist. I don't mind intellectually honest, hard thinking (in this case drinking), reasoned leftists. I usually disagree, but they make me work at it, which in turn makes me a better conservative.

But I hate guys like Sullivan who always have a hidden agenda and try to convince people they are something they're not. Which is pretty much 99% of the Democrat party.

Anyway, thanks again. I'll just keep avoiding the him.

[AmishDude]

Well, the kids won't -- just won't -- get it. Not in a few years. The audience is meant to be adults who see the satire, not just in the subject matter but a bit of satire of the childrens' book genre as well.

[wildcatf4f3]

Bless me Big Toe for I have sinned its been 6 monthe since my last donation to the ACLU

[AmishDude]

I hate to psychoanalyze Sullivan (if I did, I could put 100 kids through college) but it's almost as if Sullivan was a Bush supporter because he was against the way Islam treats gay people. That would be consistent, but Sullivan "came out" pro-W before the 2000 election, IIRC.

I'm willing to bet that Sullivan is just pulling a late-era Goldwater here, where he's changing his tune at the behest of a politically "aware" lover.

Yes, he's that shallow.

[CFC__VRWC]

That would be consistent, but Sullivan "came out" pro-W before the 2000 election, IIRC.

Perhaps he did that because he figured W was going to beat Gore no matter what, and he decided he wanted to back the winning team. Also don't forget he was at the height of his little slap fight with the New York Times then, and he may have decided to support W out of pure spite directed at them.

As you point out, he is that shallow.

[Patriotic Bostonian]

I bought the book for my 9 yo grandson, my 4 yo grandson and my 3 yo greatgrandson.