Daughter of Lesbian Couple Expelled - Women Plan to Protest Outside Ontario Christian School

Daily Bulletin ^ | September 25, 2005 | Mason Stockstill

[Bonaparte]

Daughter of lesbian couple expelled
Women plan to protest outside Ontario Christian school

By Mason Stockstill, Staff Writer

ONTARIO - A Chino couple plans to picket a Christian school in Ontario on Monday because officials expelled their daughter after learning her parents are lesbians. Tina Clark said the superintendent of Ontario Christian High School gave her a letter explaining that 14-year-old freshman Shay Clark was being kicked out because her parents' sexual orientation is "inconsistent with a positive Christian life style."

"My sexual orientation should have nothing to do with her getting an education," Tina Clark said. "I'm the one that's gay. My daughter's not. Why should her civil rights be infringed?"

Shay was crushed by what happened earlier this week, which she said came as a surprise.

"I knew that I might have problems," Shay said. "But I never thought it would go that far."

Principal Tim Hoekstra and Superintendent Len Stob did not return repeated calls Thursday and Friday seeking comment. Phone calls to several school trustees also were not returned.

Clark and her partner, Mitzi Gray, have been together for 22 years. They didn't expect Shay would experience discrimination at the school because her older sister had attended Ontario Christian schools from sixth through ninth grade. Additionally, Shay said her friends knew she lived in a home with two mothers, and "it was never a problem."

On Tuesday, however, that changed. Gray said when she went to an unrelated parent meeting that Clark was unable to attend, school administrators were confused by her different last name.

The next day, both women were called in and asked point-blank if they were gay, Clark said. When they said they were, Shay was expelled.

"These are the same people that patted me on the back the Friday before that and asked me how my week had gone," Clark said.

The family's situation is not unusual, said Johnny Chagolla of the Rainbow Pride Youth Alliance, a gay-rights organization in San Bernardino. Often, he said, students at religious schools are more likely to face discrimination.

"In cases like this, there's a concern," Chagolla said. "A lot of (religious school officials) say they're very open and affirming, and then you see this, and it contradicts what they're saying."

A similar situation arose earlier this year at a Catholic school in Costa Mesa, when parents pressured administrators into barring gay parents after a gay couple enrolled their twin sons at the school.

Ontario Christian is affiliated with the Christian Reformed Church, a denomination that considers homosexuality a "condition of disordered sexuality," according to the Web site of the Christian Reformed Church of North America.

The church considers the act of homosexual sex to be a sin, which "must be condemned as incompatible with obedience to the will of God as revealed in scripture." However, according to the group's Web site, the church should help gay Christians and "give them support toward healing and wholeness."

As the family gathered outside the school for a news conference Friday, students and staff peered at the scene out of the windows. Receptionist Cory Overstreet said administrators would not be available to comment.

According to the letter signed by Stob, school officials were not aware of Clark and Gray's relationship at the time Shay was admitted.

But both women said that question was never asked, and that both of their names were included in all of the required paperwork.

"Had we known they were against homosexuality, we would never have sought this school out," Gray said. "It wasn't like we announced it to the world, but it wasn't a secret, either. We've always been a family."

Shay's educational future is unclear. At first, Clark had hoped there was a way Shay could return to Ontario Christian. But now, no one in the family backs that idea.

The family is looking for another private school Shay can attend, but the admissions process is typically long, and she might not get in anywhere this year. Public school will probably be the answer for now, Clark said. After she gets to a new school, the family may consider legal action, Clark said.

The expulsion was difficult for Shay, who said she is upset about being separated from her friends.

As for the school's leadership, "They should be embarrassed," Shay said.

- Mason Stockstill can be reached by e-mail mason.stockstill@dailybulletin.com , or by phone at (909) 483-9354

[grellis]

From the statement:

The school forms a voluntary partnership with parents who seek the same discipleship. Therefore, the school requires that at least one parent be a confessing Christian and active in the local Christian church. In this case, the parent does not meet the criteria by participating in a homosexual relationship. We regret that this relationship was not disclosed at the time of admission, as that information would have prevented enrollment and the occasion for misunderstanding.

How does this not make sense?

[grellis]

My goodness! What timing we have today!

[zipper]

Seems perfectly clear to me! Cut and dry!

[BibChr]

That's pretty good.

(c8

Dan

[Walkingfeather]

The school has a right to admit or deny whomever they choose and I support that 100%. My argument is, did they handle this like they should have? What about the student that father is having an affair? Are they kicked out? or Does the faculty and administration support and lift up that student? If the issue is that the School did not know at the time and now they do, what about all the times they find out about various sins of other students parents? I would think that that will be easy for them to get dinged legally for applying the rule differently. Plus the school by expelling the daughter has been the one to spread this about this students mom and partner. (yes I am against homosexuality)

Let look at it this way....

School finds out, takes child aside and says, we have concerns that your "mom" might not be living the moral life that she agreed to when she enrolled you in this school. We want to ask you if you intend to follow and adhere to the code of morality that you signed here? ( detailing out what qualities and behaviors that means) letting her understand that we would not allow her mom to participate in functions with her partner. But as long as you are striving to lead a Christlike life we will welcome you here and whatever we can do to help your mom come to a realization of where she is in her life we want to do that.

Now which one is handled with more of a Christ Like attitude?

This situation was handled poorly from the following perspectives.

Morally

Legally

PR wise

Logically

[Walkingfeather]

I do not doubt that the lesbian couple lied if they signed the application. Yes there should be reprecussions for that. Now that all said. Does that apply to the parents that are divorced because of adultry? The behavior is still ongoing is it not? Can a child stop a parent from that sin? Are those children kicked out as well? What about the one whose father is in Chino prison, just a short distance away? Are they kicked out? I think you would agree they are not. My argument is that from a Christ=like perspective I do not see this handled well.

[Politicalmom]

Oh, but "They don't have an agenda. They aren't filing a lawsuit."

*Rolling eyes*

[dfwgator]

Ya, gotta wonder why the lesobs would send their daughter to a freakin' Christian school to begin with. I'd almost be willing to bet hard cash that it was a set-up. They are going to sue.

Of course, it's like the lesbos that go to doctors demanding they be artificially inseminated then suing if the doctor refuses.

[phil1750]

My argument is that from a Christ=like perspective I do not see this handled well.

I feel just the apposite. I believe it is past time that religious institutions, including their schools, stand up for what is Christian teaching. Embracing their lifestyle would send the wrong message.

[Walkingfeather]

Send what message and to whome specifically?

[Politicalmom]

But you don't care about other children at the school who could be caused to stumble by this family. Why do those children not matter?

[Politicalmom]

I went to a Christian High school. I never saw any drugs or alcohol at or after any school functions or after any parties.

I found a real home there after being teased unmercifully in public school. Just because YOU went to poor schools doesn't mean they all are.

Perhaps if they screened more carefully you would have had better influences....oh wait, you are against that, right? The other parents at this school have EVERY right to want to keep their children away from a family that thinks there is nothing wrong with homosexuality.

[grellis]

I think it is being handled properly. The mommies are unrepenant sinners. The admissions policy is pretty clear with regard to that aspect. The mommies also bore false witness. They accepted the terms of the admissions policy with the knowledge that they were not holding up their end of the bargain. If the school caves, they are teaching the unfortunate girl that there are no consequences to committing sinful behavior. The school is not punishing her. She is bearing the brunt of the sins of her mommies--and her mommies are apparently okay with that. If the mommies were to do the right thing, they would immediately drop the lawsuit and make some difficult choices about how the dynamics of their "family" should change. That would be in the best interest of the girl. That would prove their love of the girl. Right now, they love their sinful lifestyle more than they love their daughter--their actions bear this out.

[Politicalmom]

California, not Canada. : )

[Polybius]

As I stated in posts above, it is my belief that the child should be judged by the child's conduct and not the parent's conduct.

Fine-- then change the school's conditions of enrollment. Hello???

What's with the "Hello???"

This particular school advocates a life style that is "consistent with a positive Christian life style".

If, hypothetically, my father is a member of a gay biker gang in prison for murder and also murdered his cell mate last week, if my mother is a hooker that is in and out of prison and I am a 14 kid rebelling against all that and leading a positive Christian lifestyle....is that not exactly what the school claims to advocate?

What exemplifies a Christian lifestyle more than living it in spite of tremendous obstacles?

I am addressing this issue on a general priciple asking if the parent's conduct automatically makes a kid unworthty to be associated with.

Jesus taught that a Christian lifestyle is all about what is being done after repentence. It is not about what you did before repentence or what was done or is being done by your parents.

"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you." Matthew 21:31

[Polybius]

I cannot undertand why you are not absolutely shredding her contemptable 'parents' for putting this child in such a terrible and dangerous situation in the first place.

Because doing so would earn me a Master of the Obvious Award.

See my Post 155.

As I have said on the thread, "I am addressing this issue on a general priciple asking if the parent's conduct automatically makes a kid unworthty to be associated with."

My general point is that, in these situations, the decision should be based on the lifestyle of the kid as assessed on a case by case basis and not be a knee-jerk action based on what the parents are doing.

Case in point: Are members of Alateen automatically unworthy of admitance to a Christian school?

By definition, such a child has at least one messed up parent.

[4mycountry]

And who didn't see this coming?

[sasafras]

"My sexual orientation should have nothing to do with her getting an education,"

Dont you just love how the libs want it to be a secret then when it comes to diversity training they want everybody to know and condone their personal lifestyle. Private organizations, e.g. the Boyscouts, have the right of free association.

[Bonaparte]

"My sexual orientation should have nothing to do with her getting an education,"

[SAMS]: "..and it won't, at a taxpayer funded school where [they] EMBRACE this behavior."
________________________

As though the only place Shay Clark can get an education is that particular kind of school, a school whose requirements this family knew they didn't meet.

To me, the issue has nothing to do with SC being deprived of educational opportunity. She can get that at many other schools. It has to do with this family crashing somebody's party and then whining when they are shown the door.

[phil1750]

Send what message and to whome specifically?

The message that a homosexual lifestyle is acceptable to Christian Churches and to society in general. That the sodomites can flaunt their bedroom preferences without consequences. That their lifestyle is "normal".