[Screaming_Gerbil]

My standard advice for dealing with a cheating galpal or spouse is to leave them. I have a very utility-based argument for that, too, if anyone wants to know.

I'd be interested in hearing it...

[HitmanLV]

Sure.

Basically it comes down first to what your cheating partner wants to do. Do they want to stay with you & try to work it out, or do they want to ditch you?

If they want to ditch you, that's that.

If they want to reconcile, then basically you have to decide if you want to absorb and spend the mental, emotional, etc energy to try to reconcile.

Now, figure on a scale of 1 to 10, it takes a '5' level of effort to sustain your part of a healthy relationship. All I mean by that is the normal level of energy, not '1/2' energy or anything. Also, your partner has to spend a similar level of energy to keep you happy.

Now add the fact that in an adultery situation, the cheated upon spouse more likely than not has to spend an additional level of energy to try and heal the relationship after the betrayal. So now, that level rises to a 7, 8, 9 or more.

The other party has to accommodate also, so that level rises to a 7, 8, 9 or so.

Here's the thing. A person can spend that added energy and deal with it & maybe it will work or maybe not, or they can cut their loss and cultivate a new relationship with a new person and not have to spend that extra energy, bringing back the energy commitment back down to a 5 or so (a normal, non-encumbered relationship), & maybe it will work or maybe not.