Posted on 09/20/2005 7:38:56 AM PDT by frankjr
At first glance, Eric Paone does not seem your typical conservative true believer. The 35-year-old guitarist of the New Hampshire thrash metal band Candy Striper Death Orgy (yeah, no typo) has a flowing mane of hair, swears like he’s in a Make-the-Sailor-Blush contest and cackles as he relates dirty jokes. His band’s odd name was inspired by an…um, adult feature Paone and his friends checked out once in college, which is appropriate enough, actually, since the thrasher’s day job consists of running a string of adult bookstores christened "The Moonlight Readers."
When he’s behind that counter selling “marital aids” and creatively titled magazines, however, Paone’s always wearing either a George W. Bush hat or button along with his Nuclear Assault T-shirt and Napalm Death shorts. Contradiction? Hypocrisy? Paone doesn’t see it that way.
“The commies have closed more porno stores from us than the Bible thumpers ever did,” he said authoritatively. “There are people on both sides that want to take away everyone’s fun, whether it’s for the kids or the environment or whatever. They’d have no porn stores and we’d all be riding horse-drawn buggies to work if it were up to them. Still, nobody believes me, but the Republican party really is the party of tolerance these days.
“I’d never start in on guys in my store wearing Kerry shirts or Howard Dean pins the way they start in on me for my Bush gear; for thinking different than them, basically,” Paone added. “I’d never stoop that low. Never. But liberals do it all the time.”
As one might imagine, supporting Bush in the last election cycle wasn’t exactly a cause celeb in the underground music scene and Paone took more than a little guff for his politics at shows and on online metal gossip forums. He’s been mocked and blacklisted, but never defeated, only emboldened. In fact, the worse he’s treated the closer he assumes he is to the truth, he said.
Paone’s experience speaks to a larger truth: There always has been a delicious-yet-maddening irony in anarchists and punk rockers — for who the individual is supposed to be supreme — vociferously supporting candidates that want to expand government and narrow the ability of individuals to function as they choose.
“These bands and kids are dumping on government all the time, talking about all this conspiracy theory stuff and how we’re like this Nazi fascist state, and then when it comes time to vote they fall for this mindless talk and vote liberal,” Paone said. “They vote for more government. They fall into the trap. They hate the government but they’re basically asking for it to run their lives.”
In order to make as clean a break with that way of thinking as possible (and to further enrage the people who wanted him to shut up), Paone recently went back and rewrote the lyrics to several older songs from the band’s 15-year oeuvre to take away any sort of lefty slant possible, turning some older bits on nuclear warfare and environmental devastation into ruminations on terrorism and a call to arms to fight it.
“I don’t want people thinking I’m liberal because I’ve got long hair and play guitar,” Paone lamented. “So I got to be careful to be very clear. I don’t want to get lumped in with these Rock Against Bush idiots.”
Paone talks about politics like the uncle who just discovered the Drudge Report, reeling off a litany of Clinton missteps and shortcomings from the 1990s and rejecting the Democrats’ desire to fight the War on Terror by “sitting around the U.N. building and feeling sorry for crazy terrorists.”
“People say to me now, ‘You’re starting to sound like Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh,’ and I just have to tell them, ‘Fine by me. I like those guys,’” Paone laughed. “I want lower taxes. I am all for cleaning up that mess in the Middle East. Try telling that to anyone raised on this Hollywood garbage, though. It’s impossible. They want everything handed to them and they don’t care if some working stiff has to pay for it all.”
A self-described right-leaning independent, Paone said he never liked John Ashcroft and was open to voting for a Democrat in the last election — he looked seriously at Wes Clark — but ultimately stuck with Bush when the “insanely liberal” Kerry was nominated.
“In the middle of a war they want me to vote for a guy who crapped all over his brothers when he came back from ‘Nam?” Paone asked incredulously. “I don’t think so. I never knew what he was talking about. His wife had more of an agenda than he did. I could vote for a Democrat in the future, but not any like of liberal like they put up this last time. And if it’s Hillary? Forget about it.”
It can be surreal to have a guy you once heard bellow “God bless nuclear warfare” at a dirty beach club explain his theories on skyrocketing gas prices.
“Look at the EPA,” he said. “We haven’t built a refinery in years. They know where the oil is in Alaska and how to drill for it without making a mess, but the tree huggers won’t let us go get it. GPS is good from something other than spying on ourselves, you know.”
According to mainstream-media mythology, Bush pulls the wool over voters’ eyes by playing the average guy, not by convincing them his policies are right. So, if that’s true, what does an adult-bookstore-owning thrash-metal guitarist have in common with our in-bed-by-10-P.M. president?
“I don’t want a president exactly like me,” Paone answered. “You know, I’m all for screwing or whatever, but I like that Bush has always been with Laura and is kind of boring. Clinton was a party animal who worked in as many ladies as he could, and look what that got us: A nuclear North Korea, Saddam spitting in our faces and Osama bin Laden having plenty of time to do whatever he wanted. Thanks, anyway. I’ll take boring any day.”
What a classy, CLASSY guy.
"The term South Park Conservative is bunk. WTF does it mean? Since when did conservatives like swearing, poop and sex jokes, etc?"
i love this question. i love the answer i give to it.
SPC is developed from kids who grow up in good conservative families, but get stuck in (liberal run) public school. we maintain our fiscal conservative views, but tend to take after our friends on social issues (cursing, drinking, smoking, premarital sex, etc)
Nooj Jr bttt?
Brian: "YOU'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS!"
The Crowd: "WE'RE ALL INDIVIDUALS!"
A Lone Voice: "I'm not."
If you guys are intrigued by this rocker dude being pro-Bush, check out www.sladeham.com...warning, adult oriented material...language
Slade is a comedian who is not your average Republican, but he is a die-hard Bush fan. He recently returned from a USO tour in the Middle East.
He tours nationally and runs a show room in Texas.
Henry Rollins has seemed conservative, maybe libertarian to me, but has he come out one way or the other?
I know he has said some things concerning Homeland Security, but has he said anything else?
Hmm...isn't that EXACTLY the same attituude the "Moderate/LIEberal" (R)'s have towards Conservatives in the (R) party?
Sorry, but I KNOW Eric...I was part of the Mass/NH music scene for a bunch of years thru the80's and 90's. Good guy then, and looks like he stayed that way!
If you don't like what he does in private, and LEGALLY, btw (Can we say tha of OTHER people on FR, that are OBL morons?!?!), then it is up to YOU to "keep it to yourself".
I like Eric...now I'm gonna have to give him a call tonight. A voice out of the blue!
BTW, his music is loud, brash, and fun if you like bleeding ears (which is why I ALWAYS wear Sonic 2 ear protection, whether shooting or on stage). But he's on OUR SIDE! Isn't that the argument that's always thrown at Conservatives when we opposed SchwarzneKennedy, or Spector, or McStain?!?!
He isn't out perverting your kids, and actually his stores are very concealed...BY LAW, and in good standing.
Of course he does.
What I object to is not understanding oneself. Nor understanding calling liberalism/libertarianism conservative.
Same old garbage that's brought us to the nanny state and weak self indulgent nation with no vision or backbone that's been going on for decades. Only difference is these guys have less talent or creativity than typical liberals in similar fields.
I know there are a large number of so-called conservatives who think that being exactly like the liberals is how to be -- but if one is to buy in to this, why not simply actually be a liberal democrat? You shouldn't try to re-make the republicans in the image of the liberals.
Still, mainly, I don't like no talent boring hack pop music.
What side is that?
Like President Bush.
Law...order...freedom...responsibility...
Why, what side are you on?
Conservatives yelling at conservatives..Tipper Gore and the PMRC would be proud.
On and on south of heaven.
>>SPC is developed from kids who grow up in good conservative families, but get stuck in (liberal run) public school.
In my case I grew up in a liberal family and got stuck
in liberal-run public schools, but when I started listening to talk radio in the mid 80s, and reading opposing viewpoints, I became a conservative.
I'm 43; my dad is 84, and always has been a big lib. He campaigned for Dukakis in '88. I drifted to the right back in the 80s and 90s but never really let on to him that I did. When I saw him recently I mentioned I had bought my glasses at a WalMart and he gave me this huge spiel about how evil they were, etc. Heck, I'm in a union myself (American Postal Workers) but I see nothing wrong with WalMart. (Have heard both pro and con about them.) Another time I was visiting my Dad and there was an item on the news (this was awhile back) saying that W had great poll numbers. My dad said people
were stupid if they fell for W--"why would they support him?"
Me: "Well, maybe people feel that way because we haven't
been attacked since 9/11"
"Oh, B.S.!", my dad replied.
And remember when Saddam was caught? I was visiting my Dad's
house on Cape Cod and when I saw it on the news my eyes
widened. "Yeah, Dean's gonna lose now for sure," my
Dad lamented. (Dean was leading in the polls at the time.)
"Yeah...," I replied, trying to sound disappointed.
Inside I was going "YES! YES!"
Anyway, my dad has always been a Democratic-party-is-best-for-us, union type of guy and always will be. And we both live in a state dominated by
the Dim party. I saw a roll call vote of the Mass.
legislature on the gay marriage issue and if you looked
at the party affiliation, you'd see this:
D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, D, R, D, D, R, D, D, D, D,
D, D, D, R, D, D, D, D, D, D, D.... etc.
My dad, the moonbat.
“I’d never start in on guys in my store wearing Kerry shirts or Howard Dean pins the way they start in on me for my Bush gear; for thinking different than them, basically,” Paone added. “I’d never stoop that low. Never. But liberals do it all the time.”
I am all for TRUE tolerance and allowing the people to decide the important issues. I'm all in favor of protecting the country at all cost sooner rather than later and I am all for a big tent where people may disagree about specific issues but there is fundamental agreement about principles and process... that's the key.
I'm from the South Shore too. Two brother in laws are union reps. They have it in their head that conservatives are anti-union and anti-working man. It's been drilled into them for years. I keep telling them to look around MA and see what Democrat leadership has done for the once mighty MA manufacturing base. Look what they have done for the Unions. Look what they have done for the little guy.
The funny thing is, these people are really conservatives on almost every issue - but this one. And this one notion controls their whole political attitude and they are willing to over look everything else. It's bizzare...
I pictured this guy with a flying V
That kinda reminds me of what I heard Rush Limbaugh say once that lots of guys might not mind going down to Pink Pony Lounge and drink a few beers but they don't want their president doing that.
Blast from the past. I can't believe that thread is still up.
Alice Cooper
Sammy Hagar
Ted Nugent
And even CC DeVille of friggin' Poison
All conservatives!
Best name for a metal band since "Acid Bath."
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