Posted on 09/20/2005 7:38:56 AM PDT by frankjr
At first glance, Eric Paone does not seem your typical conservative true believer. The 35-year-old guitarist of the New Hampshire thrash metal band Candy Striper Death Orgy (yeah, no typo) has a flowing mane of hair, swears like hes in a Make-the-Sailor-Blush contest and cackles as he relates dirty jokes. His bands odd name was inspired by an um, adult feature Paone and his friends checked out once in college, which is appropriate enough, actually, since the thrashers day job consists of running a string of adult bookstores christened "The Moonlight Readers."
When hes behind that counter selling marital aids and creatively titled magazines, however, Paones always wearing either a George W. Bush hat or button along with his Nuclear Assault T-shirt and Napalm Death shorts. Contradiction? Hypocrisy? Paone doesnt see it that way.
The commies have closed more porno stores from us than the Bible thumpers ever did, he said authoritatively. There are people on both sides that want to take away everyones fun, whether its for the kids or the environment or whatever. Theyd have no porn stores and wed all be riding horse-drawn buggies to work if it were up to them. Still, nobody believes me, but the Republican party really is the party of tolerance these days.
Id never start in on guys in my store wearing Kerry shirts or Howard Dean pins the way they start in on me for my Bush gear; for thinking different than them, basically, Paone added. Id never stoop that low. Never. But liberals do it all the time.
As one might imagine, supporting Bush in the last election cycle wasnt exactly a cause celeb in the underground music scene and Paone took more than a little guff for his politics at shows and on online metal gossip forums. Hes been mocked and blacklisted, but never defeated, only emboldened. In fact, the worse hes treated the closer he assumes he is to the truth, he said.
Paones experience speaks to a larger truth: There always has been a delicious-yet-maddening irony in anarchists and punk rockers for who the individual is supposed to be supreme vociferously supporting candidates that want to expand government and narrow the ability of individuals to function as they choose.
These bands and kids are dumping on government all the time, talking about all this conspiracy theory stuff and how were like this Nazi fascist state, and then when it comes time to vote they fall for this mindless talk and vote liberal, Paone said. They vote for more government. They fall into the trap. They hate the government but theyre basically asking for it to run their lives.
In order to make as clean a break with that way of thinking as possible (and to further enrage the people who wanted him to shut up), Paone recently went back and rewrote the lyrics to several older songs from the bands 15-year oeuvre to take away any sort of lefty slant possible, turning some older bits on nuclear warfare and environmental devastation into ruminations on terrorism and a call to arms to fight it.
I dont want people thinking Im liberal because Ive got long hair and play guitar, Paone lamented. So I got to be careful to be very clear. I dont want to get lumped in with these Rock Against Bush idiots.
Paone talks about politics like the uncle who just discovered the Drudge Report, reeling off a litany of Clinton missteps and shortcomings from the 1990s and rejecting the Democrats desire to fight the War on Terror by sitting around the U.N. building and feeling sorry for crazy terrorists.
People say to me now, Youre starting to sound like Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh, and I just have to tell them, Fine by me. I like those guys, Paone laughed. I want lower taxes. I am all for cleaning up that mess in the Middle East. Try telling that to anyone raised on this Hollywood garbage, though. Its impossible. They want everything handed to them and they dont care if some working stiff has to pay for it all.
A self-described right-leaning independent, Paone said he never liked John Ashcroft and was open to voting for a Democrat in the last election he looked seriously at Wes Clark but ultimately stuck with Bush when the insanely liberal Kerry was nominated.
In the middle of a war they want me to vote for a guy who crapped all over his brothers when he came back from Nam? Paone asked incredulously. I dont think so. I never knew what he was talking about. His wife had more of an agenda than he did. I could vote for a Democrat in the future, but not any like of liberal like they put up this last time. And if its Hillary? Forget about it.
It can be surreal to have a guy you once heard bellow God bless nuclear warfare at a dirty beach club explain his theories on skyrocketing gas prices.
Look at the EPA, he said. We havent built a refinery in years. They know where the oil is in Alaska and how to drill for it without making a mess, but the tree huggers wont let us go get it. GPS is good from something other than spying on ourselves, you know.
According to mainstream-media mythology, Bush pulls the wool over voters eyes by playing the average guy, not by convincing them his policies are right. So, if thats true, what does an adult-bookstore-owning thrash-metal guitarist have in common with our in-bed-by-10-P.M. president?
I dont want a president exactly like me, Paone answered. You know, Im all for screwing or whatever, but I like that Bush has always been with Laura and is kind of boring. Clinton was a party animal who worked in as many ladies as he could, and look what that got us: A nuclear North Korea, Saddam spitting in our faces and Osama bin Laden having plenty of time to do whatever he wanted. Thanks, anyway. Ill take boring any day.
Best kept to his self.
That's what I've been telling my friends for years.
Lot's of heavy metal FReepers.
I dont want a president exactly like me, Paone answered. You know, Im all for screwing or whatever, but I like that Bush has always been with Laura and is kind of boring. Clinton was a party animal who worked in as many ladies as he could, and look what that got us: A nuclear North Korea, Saddam spitting in our faces and Osama bin Laden having plenty of time to do whatever he wanted. Thanks, anyway. Ill take boring any day.
This is great stuff.
"Candy Striper Death Orgy" ping!
I like TOOL's music and I know it would piss them off to no end to see that. snicker, snicker.
Far out, man!
There's a ping list for everything these days :)
Old School
It was either that or a "Napalm Death shorts" ping. (Gotta get me some'a those...)
I seem to remember seeing the movie that is the source of the name.
"This is great stuff."
I agree. I was afraid some people wouldn't get past the porn part, so I almost didn't bother to post.
If I had to pick one genre of music that was dominated by conservatives both as performers and fans it would be heavy metal.
Disagree with this guy's lifestyle? Fine. Disagree with the business that he is in? Fine. The guy is informed and thinks independently...he doesn't walk in lock step with the long haired maggot infested FM-types usually found in the entertainment industry.
I thought I had also, but then I realized I was thiking of "Cheerleader Nurses", so no, haven't seen that one.
Nearly all of my conservative friends are heavy metal fans. The older ones do tend toward country but that's OK too.
"Christian Rock" might be a contender.
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