I read your post and Nan's response, and honestly don't think anyone could say it any better than Nan did. I agree wholeheartedly with her - am not sure I personally could approach someone as directly as she advises, but hats off to her for doing so, and to you, if you do it that way!
Nan, want you to know how much we all love you here and pray that your surgery this morning went well, without any complications, and your recovery will be so quick you'll wow all the doctors and nurses!