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Can I give another perspective?

I know a woman who this week is divorcing after 30 years of marriage.

Her reasons are that she was the one that did all the changing, giving, putting up, giving in etc. It finally came to a head when she became ill, and was in constant misery. She asked hubby to change a few things that would make life a bit easier....

Like turning down the thermostat 2 degrees, not reading in bed all night with the light on, not having the TV blaring all the time etc. Nothing major, really minor things. But he just looked at her like she as crazy and refused to do them....because he'd done them all for thirty years.

He didn't see why he should change.

And she'd been miserable for 30 years.

It wasn't until he refused that she realized he didn't even care about her, much less love her...
Anyhow, she's feeling physically better, but she's decided, if she's gonna die, she's gonna die in a cool house with the lights out and the TV off. So she moved out. And much to your consternation, I'm sure...she's getting High Fives and atta girls from all over.

I guess the point is while you're hearing "All guys need to change" what a lot of women are saying is "I've done all the changing and giving...I can't take it anymore! Now its his turn".

Granted, that's just my perspective from the bleachers.

I believe you have mislabled your point entirely. The point is not that he 'needs to change' so much as ee needs to CARE. I would be the first one to cheer her on for getting out of an unfulfilling and unloving relationship, however never in My most understanding moments would I be encouraging her to complain that he 'had to change' by however grudgingly doing those 'little things' you just mentioned. If he just does not care for her enough to take care of here and appreciate her, it is not his 'changing' that is going to make it all work out in the end. Moreover, why in the name of all that is Holy would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who does not care for you? If, however, she had merely decided that after all those years of marriage she could no longer stand to watch the same programs on the telly he did or him not attempting to make more of himself at his job so that they could get some of the more expensive Finer Things In Life, then I have absolutely no sympathy. From all that you say, that is not the case in this instance and I for one encourage her to find someone that will truly love her. I would warn anyone, however to be cautious in such matters, as things are not always as they seem...