Many people did not have role models in their life for how a biblical, Christ-centered marriage should resemble. As men and women mature in their spiritual walk with Jesus Christ and knowledge of His word they will better understand their roles. We were created each with a special purpose and none of us were created to be lone rangers. Whether male or female as we learn the will of God, we understand that He desires us to be selfless, have a spirit of humilty, and loving. We learn to submit to one another. This only happens when the Holy Spirit is working in and through us.
Admonitions to live in a "best case scenario" seem pretty pointless.
One thing I appreciate about the Catholic Church is they don't use the Holy Spirit as a philosophical "fairy godmother" that promises to correct any practical deficiencies in the implementaion of sound doctrine.
One may not like their answers, but they at least have the benefit of coming from some measure of practical experience as well as Scriptural doctrine.