I sat behind a woman who sounds just like the subject of the post on an airplane yesterday. She was fortyish, very corporate-looking, very slim and attractive, she might have even been a conservative (at one point, she complained about how much money the government was going to be spending to rebuild New Orleans). But she spent a good part of the trip complaining to the (unfortunate) sixtyish, married man seated next to her about how hard a time she was having finding anyone to marry. She spoke of going on a lot of dates with a lot of men she liked and thought were very nice, but apparently for some reason they never seemed to want to follow up and take the relationship further.
From what I could observe:
1) She was a motormouth. She never stopped talking and was sharing an awful lot of personal information early on with someone she had just met.
2) She apparently works in sales - and was in "sales" mode during the entire conversation. She wore me out, and I wasn't even talking to her.
3) She had just a touch of the wild-eyed, desperate, Nancy Pelosi look.
4) She apparently travels on business much of the time.
5) She sounded absolutely convinced that she still had time to have children (I seriously doubt it) - though the subtext was clear: she would have to start almost immediately with any man she chose to marry.
Any of the five is a deal-killer on a first date. If she was sharing all of this in an hour and a half with a man she had just met, how much worse would she be on a date? It's obvious what her problem is - but it's unlikely she'll be able to remedy it in time to accomplish her goal.
Also at this function were many dealership and municipal dignitaries, and one of the women looked like somebody's-future-ex-wife if I ever saw one! She looked in her early 40s, attractive, over-dressed, cheap and inappropriate spike-heeled shoes (we women notice things like that, I'm afraid! Meow!), and there was something of desperation about her. Out of several dozen beautifully dressed handsome men at this function, they seemed somewhat repelled by her. It was interesting, and possibly all imagined on my part!
I'm hearing a lot of this "40 is the new 30" crap being promoted to women these days.
I'm a firm believer in that with your mind, you can be any age you want, but physically, no way. Sure you can work out, eat right, and have a very healthy nice look that can make you appear younger than you are.
But for males and females, physically, 40 in NOT the new 30. 40 is 40, and 30 is 30 when it comes to having children. Women are more at risk in their 40's of having more strainful pregnancies, children with birth defects, or not being able to concieve anymore. Men's fertility starts decreasing as well.
Many women are being told they are most empowered by not getting married or having children in your 20's and 30's, and then magically when, your 40, then its time to think about settling down and can start having children right away.
There is an anonymity and a synergy that occurs on airplane flights. You are sitting next to someone you don't know and will likely never meet again, with nothing much to do.
It is a recipe for unburdening of the soul.
I have had somewhat similar things happen to me more than once.
Kudos to your (consistently) excellent observations! I admit, I like talking to women like that. When I was in nyc in late july, I was at a pizza parlor on W 3rd & Sullivan and was sharing a stand-up table with two women around 30. Not bad looking at all.
Anyway, one was talking to the other about how her new love interest was dissatisfying her because he was 'too controlling.' I politely interrupted and said I was sorry to overhear, but would she like a man's point of view?
Actually, and I am sure you know this Mr. J, their conversation was partly female banter and partly to bait a man within earshot into their conversation.
I just asked her nicely "What makes you feel that anyone would want to control you?" I could see her pupils dilating. She stammered something about 'independence.' I reminded her that you have succeeded in being independent when you are completely alone and do whatever you want. "Is that what you want?"
This was way too heavy for these two Columbia University graduates. Oh well, my point is I like to pick the brains of these types of folks as I encounter them - there's nothing quite as much fun as conversing with someone who prefaces their comments with "I have thought about this a lot" and then two or three pointed questions later, it is clear that they haven't really thought about this at all.
Still on for LV in October?
The easiest way to be considered a fascinating conversationalist, is to just let the other person do the talking, while you sit there with an interested expression on your face