Posted on 09/17/2005 6:59:48 AM PDT by teldon30
Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?
Deluxe Chopped Liver
Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''
''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.
Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street
(Excerpt) Read more at mcall.com ...
That sounds like a bunch of poo.
Advice that should be given to my husband.
Sad but true
Second class behavior.
The best wait until marriage.
After all, a man should not trust a woman as much who holds to a lesser standard.
To hold to a lesser standard, is to say she is more likely to some day again find a convenient excuse for bedding someone she is not married to--but this time someone other than her husband.
One should understand, however, that the majority of men do not understand this themselves--but rather they are endowed by evolution with certain emotional guides that tend them in varying degrees, to such judgment (such emotions are often consciously rationalized as "respect").
I would never marry a woman who had sex with me before marriage.
But I would have sex with her.
Are you a guy?
;-)
I agree but I am not complaining, lamenting perhaps not not complaining
***It isn't always just about what she thinks of him, it's about what his friends and her friends and relatives and her corporate associates that he is going to have to deal with at social functions are going to think of Mr. Blue Collar and will they be whispering behind his back about why she married so far beneath her station.***
Well, you could be right, but that only proves my point about insecurity. It's sad, really. I hate that about our society, and worrying about what others think definitely is not exclusive to men. There are always exceptions, of course, but unfortunately, they are a small minority.
Sounds like she may have a mental illness too (seriously, but I could be wrong ;) )
Ya know that is just so hard to believe but I know that there is some truth to it
Yep. I am a Good Guy, not a nice guy. I'm also play a subtle heel from time to time, as needed. :-)
It's not always about worrying what others think. It's entirely possible he found her Reference Group alienating, that colored his perception of her, and he rejected her.
Sometimes it's just about being a little selfish, which in itself isn't all that bad.
Good for you. I'm no pushover, either. LOL
Look...I was married for 26yrs to someone who wanted me to take care of all the details in life for him.... yet griped incessantly if money wasn't stretched as far as he "thought" it should be... or throw tantrums if things didn't go as smoothly as he wanted. He didn't want to involve himself in the kids, marriage or be responsible for anything...then wondered, "What happened??" ....when the divorce came down. That's as willfully clueless and emotionally lazy as it gets.....IMHO.
I realize there are women who basically do the same things. I just want you to realize that this plays out in both genders. When I hear a man talk about women "carping" or being "controlling".....it immediately makes me wonder what they did to contribute to the circumstances.
True
However THIS quote is really "Second class behavior"
I would never marry a woman who had sex with me before marriage.
But I would have sex with her
I always found it very easy to not be a 'nice guy.' It helps when you are actually, in fact, not a very nice guy. :-)
I pick my battles but I'm no pushover. If 'nice' guys realized that that quality is something women look for and gravitate towards, they would end their neverending campaign to cater to the whims of the women they covet.
Re your post #579 - LOL...how often do women slap you in the face after that intro? Or, are you smiling and laughing so much they play along? :)
In the early years we had a hard enough time paying the rent and keeping our old clunkers in repair. Later I made more so we could do more.
At one time women knew how to manipulate men, that secret seems to have been lost.
Men have a certain number of push points that have to be satisfied for a relationship to be sucessiful. If a woman pushed these points she got the Green Dress, Old English Courting Rituals.
The problem is, that women cannot supply what men want aside from a funny feeling, if they supply this most men are turned off, we all like to know that our kids are ours.
Courting today is like buying a used car, how many miles.
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