Woman in power is powerless when it comes to meeting men

http://www.mcall.com/ ^ | September 17, 2005 | Amy Alkon

[teldon30]

Dear Amy: I'd like to be in a relationship again, but I never even get asked out (unless you count frisky 85-year-olds and drunks at the corner bar). I'm a 32-year-old woman who's happy, sociable, and attractive. (I paid for college by modeling and continue to take care of myself.) I'm second-in-command at a big company, financially secure, and own a beautiful home. How can I meet men in general, and more specifically, men I'd actually want to date?

Deluxe Chopped Liver

Dear Deluxe: To scare away vampires, it takes garlic and crosses, which make ugly bulges in sleek, satin evening bags. Luckily, all you have to do to scare away men is pull out a business card that says ''senior vice president.''

''Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac,'' said Henry Kissinger. Sure it is — unless you're a woman. Research by Stephanie L. Brown and Brian P. Lewis, published in Evolution and Human Behavior (Nov. '04), seems to confirm what many lonely women at the top already know: When guys go for the woman in the boardroom, it isn't the woman running the meeting but the secretary who wheeled in the coffee and croissants before it started.

Sure, plenty of men will scamper up the corporate ladder for a one-night stand. But, according to Brown and Lewis' study, men looking for dates or relationships tend to prefer their subordinates to their colleagues or bosses. The researchers hypothesize that men evolved to want women they can control as a means of guarding against ''parental uncertainty'' — unwittingly raising kids fathered by the Neanderthal next door as their own. Brown and Lewis think this may also explain why men are suckers for ''behavioral expressions of vulnerability'' — women who act like they might not be able to make it across the street

[Mama25]

Guys are expected to persue and court. What we really like, though, is an unambiguous "green light" that communicates "I like what I see in you -- if you ask me nicely, I WILL say yes (and not sue you for harassment!)".

YES! Exactly!!!!

[apackof2]

Thank you for your encouraging one sided insight OR maybe there are other reasons

[SauronOfMordor]

But you can't punish a woman for becoming an attorney.

Yes we can. There are even a bunch who are into being punished 8-)

[apackof2]

And I beat most of them are happily married

I 'm not :>)

[Leo Carpathian]

The men at the top are marrying down 'cuz they don't want to deal with the female VPs at home as well as at work!
Not true. A lot of exec are tired of being the leader when they get home and want to be dominated. Whips and chains are optional.

...and there might be the problem. Person that is most of their life being leader, innovator, etc. wants to be dominated (by bitchy wife)? Gimme a break! Howbout loving respect and complimentary partnership?

[Seamoth]

Would appreciate some advice on telling the difference between a guy not trying because he's wanting a green light and a guy not trying because he's blowing me off.

[apackof2]

For the "real man", curves are NEVER out of style.

Thank you and "real men" are never out of style either

[MadIvan]

You pen verses like that in your head? - I am truly ideling 95% of my cortex.

I've been thinking of that verse off and on since I woke up this morning. It's a beautiful day here.

I'm sitting out this season after 1 year of post-divorce from a "professional, glass ceiling smasher, go-getter, smarter-than-I" knock-out.

Meaning she had no soul, so she latched onto yours. My sympathies.

However, as our Freeper ladies prove, there are good women out there. And for the rest, there's plenty of ammunition to use against them. :)

Regards, Ivan

[Chode]

HA ha...

[gamarob1]

Fair enough. I've met too many women who defined a relationship as the man's ability to do everything in "winning her over". Then my wife came along, and it just happened. I didn't have to "win" her, I didn't have to do much of anything. We both just, clicked. I prefer it that way myself. Either it's the right person, or it isn't, and then I don't really have to do things

And now that we're married, I have the energy to treat her in the most special way I know how, because she is the one. Maybe to some I'm doing it backwards, but it worked out beautifully for me, somehow.

[Mama25]

Perfectly flakey pastry, taught by my aunt. Meringue 8" high at the least...

What else do you want to know?

[SauronOfMordor]

As such, she might be beautiful like a statue, but lack the warmth to be beautiful like a real woman.

My wife might not win any beauty contests, but she makes an effort to try to make me happy. That counts for more

[MadIvan]

My wife might not win any beauty contests, but she makes an effort to try to make me happy. That counts for more

Agreed.

Regards, Ivan

[Bob]

Most men are available, you just have to let them know they are desired. Works 99.9% of the time.

Heck, just let us guys know that any approach won't be immediately and summarily rejected.

Please note that a sledge hammer isn't generally necessary. A slight smile. A little eye contact. Subtlety really does work.

[FOG724]

Are you married?

Married with two sons. I also have many male friends. I understand men and they respond to it. Men feel comfortable around me. I don't push female values on them. Men have their own way of looking at things. Learn that, don't try to change it and you will have no trouble attracting men.

Women are a man's strength. They always have been and they always will be. Women are the rocks upon which they build their lives. Don't demand they act like men but gently support them and they will rise to the occasion. Men love to please women but you must let them know what it is that pleases you. Don't assume he knows.

[Delphinium]

Find a church with a nice big congregation and start to attend regularly.

Read the Bible and follow what it says, you'll never go wrong. See what it says about marriage and relationships. It is the road map to abundant life.

[apackof2]

I'd be more than happy to find an intelligent, caring, self assured, successful business woman

Perhaps there are some right under your nose right here on FreeRepublic

[devane617]

BS, it is the women in the higher positions that feel it is beneath them to date below their level. They are the ones that kill any chance at a relationship simply because they seek the alpha male in higher positions. This is pure and simple BS.

[apackof2]

Excellent advise

[FOG724]

Thank you and "real men" are never out of style either

Most men are real men.