'These Boots are Made for Walking': Why Most Divorce Filers are Women

American Law and Economics Review ^ | 2000 | Margaret Friedlander Brinig, Douglas Allen

[Hi Heels]

He made a vow to love and honor. She didn't. He helped make the baby. She didn't.

It's HER fault???? SHEESH. Hated WOMEN long, pal? It's ETHICS. Not legalism. It's his contract. It's his baby. It's his marriage. He CHOSE to screw it up. It's his fault. The other woman? She's got her own set of problems. Can I sue her for support for my child? Nope.

[ScreamingFist]

He made a vow to love and honor. She didn't. He helped make the baby. She didn't.

We all have stories and most of them are bummers. You, at least, had the good sense to end a bad relationship, others don't. And many other people marry only for convenience or the money that they know will roll their way when they file for divorce after the first kid. I have a female friend getting divorced now, no kids, has to pay hubby (worth a cool million) over 70 large to get him out of her house........marriage isn't what it use to be.

[hardworking]

Furthermore, divorced women in large numbers reveal that they are happier than they were while married.

Get a divorce, get a check.

Have seen this in my own family but it wasn't a 'check' that made for more happiness. It was peace and quiet after a loved-one spent some years trying to keep a marriage together with a guy who ranted and raved. She said the first night after they separated she realized the house was more peaceful and calm. She never looked back and he never came through with a 'check' either, so there are many dynamics in divorce. Actually, in the case I've mentioned, the kids were a lot better off than trying to grow up around this loud mouth bastard.

[A CA Guy]

Doesn't matter, because 50% of 100% is still a failing grade.

[darth]

In the Ice Age a woman without a man faced death. I'm convinced that is why modern women are still programmed to want to own a man...any man. However, 50% of the men are not fit to be husbands and fathers. When you add up all the drunks, dopers, deadbeats, and criminals...there's just not enough decent men around to provide husbands for the decent women. Ergo, polygamy is still the answer just like it was 10,000 years ago.

[MayflowerMadam]

"Get a divorce, get a check."

Not necessarily and not usually.

[hardworking]

It's not necessarily "oh, the mom's so much happier without him". It's more like lesser of two evils. Shall I have stayed and presented my daughter with an example that includes allowing the man to hump whatever and walk around in a smoke filled non-employed haze all his life with the full support of his wife, or should I take a stand and show her what a woman does when the man won't come to the table like an adult?

I applaud you! You said it all and said it well! I too have seen this first hand in my family - EVERYONE, including the kids, was better off without a bum for an 'example'. Way to go!

[hardworking]

I never claimed that was universal, only the average.

Average? You think that is 'average' behavior? Man, I would not want to see the crowd you hang around with. My obsrvation, and experience, is that NO ONE wants to go through the pain of divorce, but a multitude of circumstances sometimes just makes it unavoidable.

[hardworking]

He can take his young girlfriends-R-us, Peter Pan attitude and weed habit and cram it.
You MARRIED this guy?!?

Son, yer ignorin the fact that she was smart enough to divorce him. Git offen her back, boy.

[hardworking]

It comes with all of Ken's things
LOL - Does that mean it comes with two or three additional 'Barbies'?

[tortoise]

When women go after the "other woman" with the same vitriol they reserve for men, then maybe some of this stuff would end.

Why should they go after the other woman? From the perspective of the wife the husband is in the wrong, not the other woman. The other woman has no obligation to the wife, the husband does.

Ultimately, these issues come down to obligation. A person can only be held accountable for obligations they have accepted, and nothing more. If some other random guy slept with my hypothetical wife, I would harbor little resentment against him for doing so (if the "other guy" was one of my buds, that would change things a bit since there is some obligation involved). The other guy has no obligation to your marriage, but your wife does.

[franky]

Following are the reasons for divorce known as the 7 Deadly Sins. The sins can be counteracted but being the majority of the divorced are non faith or have little faith, the divorce proceeds. Of course one of the partner's suffers more than the other and of the course the children are really an after thought as is the rest of the extended family. I think # 1 really tells it all.

Pride (1) Humility

Seeing ourselves as we are and not comparing ourselves to others is humility. Pride and vanity are competitive. If someone else's pride really bothers you, you have a lot of pride.

Avarice/Greed (5) Generosity

This is about more than money. Generosity means letting others get the credit or praise. It is giving without having expectations of the other person. Greed wants to get its "fair share" or a bit more.

Envy (2) Love

"Love is patient, love is kind…" Love actively seeks the good of others for their sake. Envy resents the good others receive or even might receive. Envy is almost indistinguishable from pride at times.

Wrath/Anger (3) Kindness

Kindness means taking the tender approach, with patience and compassion. Anger is often our first reaction to the problems of others. Impatience with the faults of others is related to this.

Lust (7) Self control

Self control and self mastery prevent pleasure from killing the soul by suffocation. Legitimate pleasures are controlled in the same way an athlete's muscles are: for maximum efficiency without damage. Lust is the self-destructive drive for pleasure out of proportion to its worth. Sex, power, or image can be used well, but they tend to go out of control.

Gluttony (6) Faith and Temperance

Temperance accepts the natural limits of pleasures and preserves this natural balance. This does not pertain only to food, but to entertainment and other legitimate goods, and even the company of others.

Sloth (4) Zeal

Zeal is the energetic response of the heart to God's commands. The other sins work together to deaden the spiritual senses so we first become slow to respond to God and then drift completely into the sleep of complacency.

[ScreamingFist]

When you add up all the drunks, dopers, deadbeats, and criminals...

....metrosexuals, bi-sexuals, homosexuals....and this list describes both male and female.

[gogeo]

He's right. Divorce is stacked in favor of women.

[Hi Heels]

Amen. You've said a mouthful!

[Hi Heels]

*curtsies* Thank you. She's gonna be great in the end.

[Albion Wilde]

The raising healthy kids and making a good life were only possible once I was out of the marriage.

Amen, I completely understand. If the spouse is crazy/abusive/alcoholic/neglectful, sometimes it's the only way.

[JoeSixPack1]

ROFL!! :-)

[mbraynard]

There are some exceptions to this, but I find that by far, no matter what a woman may herself thing, she will only find true happiness married with a man who can support her while she is at home, making and raising babies.

Women who have had this have told me this is the happiest time of their lives, and women who have not experienced this are bitter old maids who bought the feminist myth that they could find fulfillment in a 'career.'

[steve8714]

"I'm not happy!"
"I'm not fulfilled!"
"I need space to find myself!"