Perhaps you're right. Whatever is happening, it is chaos. :o(
Welcome to Houston, Katrina Survivors.
Our football team sucks, too. But unlike you, we really don't give too much of a damn about it. Want a beer?
Need to kill a few hours? Get on a freeway and try to go somewhere.
Half of us have concealed carry permits and the other don't bother with them. Just try something.
Beads are not considered legal tender in strip clubs.
Our prisons are full. Our landfills aren't. Do the math. Behave yourselves.
Do not adjust your television set. Marvin Zindler looks that way. No need to panic.
Houston is home to a variety of multi-screen cinemas with 24 to 30 screens. That way you are absolutely certain to find a movie you'll absolutely hate at any time of the day or evening.
The train is not free to ride. It just appears that way, and nobody checks for tickets.
What you're smelling is Pasadena. You get used to it.
Yes, the Houston Chronicle is an actual newspaper. It only looks like and reads like a high school paper in some parts, but rest assured, it's what we read when the Internet is down and we can't get to Yahoo News.
Not every Mexican here is an illegal. Just the ones that speak decent English.
The Rockets no longer play at The Summit. God lives there now. And He wants your money.
Don't let those numbers and words on the buses fool you. Those things just drive around randomly all day. We've stopped trying to figure them out so we can concentrate on not getting hit by them.
Our Crime Lab is full of screwups and idiots. Remember that when an angry homeowner puts six rounds into your back and their lawyer says they shot you in the chest while breaking in. They'll get off. You'll still be dead.
Do not adjust your television set. Ed Brandon looks that way. No need to panic. (Unless you're under eighteen.)
If you even think about looting, you will go back to New Orleans in a body bag. Possibly two or three if you're really being a jackass.
We're well aware there's no "Party Street" here like you had with Bourbon Street. You're more than welcome to party on Richmond, but we close at two.
We just got done cleaning up South Main. Try not to make it a shitmagnet again, please.
(Courtesy, isfullofcrap)