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How Stupid is Hollywood Really?
LifeSite - Canada ^ | Monday August 22, 2005 | John Jalsevac

Posted on 08/22/2005 5:24:35 PM PDT by rface

The simple fact is that Hollywood is out of touch; they’re so out of touch that they’ve become pathetic. They’re the Democrats or the CNN of the arts. They’re convinced they represent the people and know what they want. But when Bush is reelected, and people tune in to Fox news and listen to Rush Limbaugh, or stop watching their movies, they’re flabbergasted.....

This summer it’s been my lot to see a few of the newest pickings of the cinematic crop. By all accounts most of these movies are awful, and if they’re not awful they’re something worse, and anybody who knows the first thing about cinema knows it. You can be sure it’s gotten bad when reviewers replace the thumb with the shrug. Reviewers can’t even conjure the conviction to give the yea or the nay any more. Instead they shrug. “It was a movie,” they say. “Pretty. But not much else.” And so the former feeling of cinematic magic is gone, smothered by this onslaught of mediocrity.

Perhaps we could let sleeping dogs lie were it not that this particular breed of artistic triviality has profound moral consequences. You see, some of the half-baked films currently drawing an ever thinner crowd of exhausted moviegoers are The 40-year-old Virgin, The Dukes of Hazzard, The Wedding Crashers, Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Aristocrats. One of those was called a “boob raunch-fest” by Matthew Drudge of drudgereport.com, and that description could be extended to most any of the others. The online family-friendly movie-reviewing website, Screenit.com, stigmatizes every one of these with an “extreme” grade for sex and nudity, not to mention profanity, and pretty much anything else that forbids a responsible parent to bring their child or watch the movie themselves.

What’s particularly sad is that the invisible magicians of the movies, the unseen directors and the producers and the screenwriters, have always been adored by the imaginative and the innocent as the closest things we’ve got in this world to bona fide wizards. Behind the golden screen is mystery and magic and the power to move human minds and hearts. And until this point in history filmmakers have always been at least clever enough to keep up the illusion that they are very, very clever and mysterious people; and until now we’ve been perfectly content to allow them that pleasant fiction.

But with the current rotten pickings from the Hollywood tree, things have gotten so thoroughly out of hand that it begs the question, how stupid is Hollywood, really?

A headline story from the New York Times last week says that the “Movie Slump Stirs Tensions in Hollywood.” This theme has been recurrent throughout the summer months. Attendance at theatres is down a whopping 12% from last year, and revenues are down 10%, and apparently (at least so I am told) nobody in Hollywood knows why. I can’t explain this fact in any other way than that Hollywood’s finest are much, much stupider than we ever thought.

Apparently, according to the Times, the Chairman of Disney, Robert Iger, believes that the problem is that people are flocking to the movie stores and purchasing DVDs instead of flocking to the theatres. Distributors, he claims, need to release movies in the theatres and on DVDs simultaneously, which apparently is supposed to solve something, somehow. Of course that explanation is just as ridiculous as it is convenient and proves with a touch of finality just how out of touch Hollywood really is.

I adore the movies. But in my nightmares now I see diamond-studded, Porche-driving producers and directors gathering in chic coffee shops and bars in Hollywood and hanging their despondent heads over their glasses and mugs. “I just don’t get it,” they say. “What is it that people want?” they ask.

And they sit silently, and they sigh and drink and sign their divorce papers and flirt with the waitress, until one of them says what’s got to be said: “I guess we’ll just have to do what we always do.” “Yes,” says another with a gleam in his eye, “It’s time make a soulless, sex-fueled remake of a timeless classic in a desperate bid to capitalize on the nostalgia of the older generation of moviegoers and the libido of the younger.” And they all nod their heads and marvel at how easily movie-goers can be manipulated, and wonder at how very clever they are; and they go out in search of the most tired-out, overrated, tabloid eviscerated actors to play out their vacuous script. I try desperately to stop them, of course, but it’s a nightmare, and I’m paralyzed.

A few years ago Mel Gibson released The Passion of the Christ. Major film distributors refused to touch it with anything less than a ten foot pole. So Gibson gave them the ol’ you-know-what, distributed the film himself, and sat back and had a good chuckle as a movie about what Hollywood believes is an out-dated, unpopular, ancient dead guy (one who claimed he was God nonetheless) obliterated numerous box-office records.

Gibson lined his pockets with platinum. And you’d think with that sort of appeal Hollywood would sit up and take notice. And they did, for a few days, even if it was only to pop a Tylenol to ease their throbbing heads, sent spinning by The Passion’s massive sales figures, or to spout clichés about fundamentalist extremists and anti-Semitism. But in the end they just couldn’t wrap their heads around the film, couldn’t fit it into the confines of their curiously narrow world-view, and when the three-ringed circus called the Oscars rolled into town The Passion was treated as little more than a curiosity side-show.

Even stranger yet, and perhaps just as revealing, is the Napoleon Dynamite phenomenon. By no means is Napoleon Dynamite a great film—far from it—but the distinguishing features of it are its simplicity, its down-to-earthness, its moral innocuousness, its practically unknown actors, its ludicrously low budget, and its unbelievable popularity. The movie was like the anti-Hollywood, without any of its expensive polish or hyper-testosterone, and it promptly cashed in. And it wasn’t even a good movie, but at least it was something different. And even more curiously, your children can watch it without permanently bidding adieu to their innocence.

In fact, while we’re on this vein of thought, it might augment the argument to point out that one of the most lauded films of this summer is March of the Penguins, with an astonishing 94% critical approval, according to rottentomatoes.com. And the only actors in the documentary detailing the struggles of the artic birds are thousands of cold, noisy emperor penguins; Morgan Freeman provides the voiceover. So while emperor penguins march to mate, audiences are held spellbound, while War of the Worlds and The Island, with their monstrous budgets and computer graphics and throbbing soundtracks and A-list actors, go relatively unwatched.

"There's more drama, and more heartbreak, in March of the Penguins than in most movies that are actually scripted to tug at our feelings," points out Stephanie Zacharek, movie reviewer for Salon.com, with perfect insight.

The simple fact is that Hollywood is out of touch; they’re so out of touch that they’ve become pathetic. They’re the Democrats or the CNN of the arts. They’re convinced they represent the people and know what they want. But when Bush is reelected, and people tune in to Fox news and listen to Rush Limbaugh, or stop watching their movies, they’re flabbergasted.

America’s alienated, unofficial aristocracy can’t figure out what to most of us is patently obvious—that there is a substantial contingent of moviegoers that is crying for something meaty, moral, and perhaps even mildly intelligent. But they are so wrapped up in the cocoon of their liberal wonderland that they don’t even know how to begin to make a film like that. Even if they tried they would fail, because they don’t and can’t and don’t want to think that way; perhaps they don’t want to think all.

A review of The 40-year-old Virgin in The National Post, begins “From raunchy to raunchier, from Wedding Crashers to The Aristocrats, the laughs come despite a little voice inside you (or beside you, if you go to movies with your mom) admonishing, ‘you should not find this funny’.”

And maybe, please God, the collective assault of that little voice, which in bygone days was called the conscience, has led movie-goers to conclude exactly that. It’s just not funny. It’s not entertaining. It’s the same recycled trash written by the same recycled screen-writers and delivered by the same recycled actors again, and again, and again. We’re tired of being thought to be stupid. We’re tired of being thought to be sex-manipulable puppets. And we’re tired of giving you money. So we won’t. So there.

What we certainly can hope is that this extended box-office slump will finally open the doors for more independent filmmakers to fill the void with simpler, family-friendly, and intelligent films. And, of course, when The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe makes its debut, I’ll be sitting in the front row, grinning like a little kid.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: hollywood; hollywoodpinglist
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The movies I would pay to see at a theater are rare
1 posted on 08/22/2005 5:24:38 PM PDT by rface
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To: rface

My mom took my 5-year-old to see "March of the Penguins." They loved it.


2 posted on 08/22/2005 5:26:59 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Officially around the bend, at least for now.)
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To: rface

For decades it was possible to entertain people by shocking them, by showing something just a little bit more risque or profane than what they had seen before. Somebody should have been able to figure out that this was a vanishing asset. At some point, which we appear to have reached, there just isn't anything worse to show.

Somebody might have noticed the 1B+ raked in by LOTR over three years. Such an old-fashioned story, but sure was popular.


3 posted on 08/22/2005 5:30:18 PM PDT by Restorer (Liberalism: the auto-immune disease of societies.)
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To: rface

This may explain how Hollywood thinks, from a conservative screen writer:

"Help! I'm a Hollywood Republican!" (article posted twice)

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1467821/posts

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1467922/posts


4 posted on 08/22/2005 5:31:44 PM PDT by LibFreeOrDie (L'chaim!)
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To: rface
How stupid is Hollywood really

Damn!! Where shall I begin??

5 posted on 08/22/2005 5:35:09 PM PDT by rockabyebaby (What do you like best about your life?)
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To: rface
But when Bush is reelected, and people tune in to Fox news and listen to Rush Limbaugh, or stop watching their movies, they’re flabbergasted..... .......... Deflate their ego's and eventually they'll blow away.
6 posted on 08/22/2005 5:35:25 PM PDT by SunnySide (Ephes2:8 ByGraceYou'veBeenSavedThruFaithAGiftOfGodSoNoOneCanBoast)
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To: rface
This is the most incisive and best written summary of the current Hollywood malaise.

Like other MSM outlets, Hollywood is beyond reformation. The current people and institutions will only continue to go downhill. It will take outsiders to push them aside.

BTW, I have not been able to find Napoleon Dynamite DVD sales figures. Anybody have a link?

7 posted on 08/22/2005 5:39:27 PM PDT by Plutarch
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To: Plutarch

Accoring to www.leesmovieinfo.net, it's sold about 5.6 million DVDs through mid-year.


8 posted on 08/22/2005 5:44:01 PM PDT by TheBigB
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To: rface

Same here...there are few movies I would even go see for free...the opportunity cost of 2-3 hours of my life is enough by itself to make the decision easy.


9 posted on 08/22/2005 5:44:41 PM PDT by Monti Cello
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To: rface

I am very particular on what movies I am willing to spend money on the last one I saw was THE GREAT RAID....loved it...I do not even waste my money or time with DVD rentals...vote with your money folks


10 posted on 08/22/2005 5:45:56 PM PDT by Kimmers
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To: rface

The movies that do well are the ones that are based on a children's book or very patriotic, like The Great Raid. The rest of the movies are just trash. It is so hard to find very wholesome family films. And the ones that they tout as family have to have some sexual inuendos or what we call potty humor. Just makes me sick,


11 posted on 08/22/2005 5:54:30 PM PDT by EmilyGeiger
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To: rface

How Stupid is Hollywood really? LOL, the Dickens you say....

12 posted on 08/22/2005 5:54:44 PM PDT by strange1 ("Show the enemy harm so he shall not advance" Sun Tzu The Art of War)
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To: TheBigB
Thanks for the tip. On the DVD Sales Chart , ND ranks #17 for the first half of 2005.
13 posted on 08/22/2005 6:01:37 PM PDT by Plutarch
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To: rface
I just saw today that H.W. is doing a movie based on 'I Dream of Jeannie'. How predictable; H.W. can't come up with creative themes, so they sift through the oldies to make up for their lack of creativity.

Mrs. randog used to work for a TV station, and I used to lament every time the new season came out. "Why can't they come up with something more creative than another family/cop/lawyer sitcom?" I used to ask. "What happened to those whacky sitcoms that have become classics? A flying nun, a genie and an Air Force major, a cranky junkyard man and his son, etc., etc.? What happened to true comic talent like Lucille Ball?".

Sadly, H.W. is all about ideology and agenda and cramming it down America's throat. Yeah, that's a recipe for success--give the people what they don't want.

14 posted on 08/22/2005 6:07:21 PM PDT by randog (What the....?!)
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To: rface

Is this a trick question?


15 posted on 08/22/2005 6:07:53 PM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all.)
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To: rface

See "Millions"... a British film that didn't hang around the theaters in my area long... but well worth the money.


16 posted on 08/22/2005 6:10:41 PM PDT by carton253 (It's better to have a gun and not need it than not have a gun and need it.)
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To: Kimmers

"vote with your money folks"

Damn straight - stay home and cruise FR!



17 posted on 08/22/2005 6:14:44 PM PDT by spanalot
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To: strange1

"How Stupid is Hollywood really? LOL, the Dickens you say...."

Hollywho?


18 posted on 08/22/2005 6:16:15 PM PDT by spanalot
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To: rface
The simple fact is that Hollywood is out of touch; they’re so out of touch that they’ve become pathetic.

One stinkin' movie may rake in $22 million - in one weekend. I'd do the same if I could. You?

19 posted on 08/22/2005 6:16:21 PM PDT by Libloather (Why are Democrats buried in nine foot graves? Deep down, they're good people...)
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To: Libloather
instead of a stinkin' movie worth $22 mill, I'd rather do a good movie worth $500 mill. I admire people who take pride in their craft.

Anybody can crap in a bucket and call it art .... and there are plenty of idiots who might pay a couple $$ to watch - but I won't be part of that crowd....you?

20 posted on 08/22/2005 6:23:09 PM PDT by rface ("...the most schizoid freeper I've ever seen" - New Bloomfield, Missouri)
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