The "Retro-Sexual" Male Code - We Are Men That "Deal With It"...

E-Mail | 8-16-2005 | Hand Em Their Arse

[skimbell]

Yeah, so what's new? Isn't this how you're supposed to do it?

I guess that..."I was retro, when retro wasn't cool"

[SandRat]

A few minor edits on these few entgries

A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you're still chasing after women at 90 I am your student.

This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title or Jane Fonda or Michael Moore in the credits.

A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to a different city and state across the country, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.

A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy or whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones may include any John Wayne movie, A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above 2nd Lt, 2nd Lts' are considered chillen and needing adult supervision)

NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thanks them for serving their country.

[XJarhead]

Fight Club? Always thought that was a metro's idea of what a real man movie was. I mean, if women like it, or it has Brad Pitt in it, it can't be your favorite movie. Fight Club loses on both counts.

[philman_36]

A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.
Uh-oh, I know two knots for neckties. One is even more simple than a Windsor. Unlike with a Windsor, which unties itself when you pull the ends, you have to actually untie that knot when you take the tie off.
Therefore...
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a proper knot. He should know the difference between a square knot and a granny knot and a bowline is a must know knot.
And I'd like to offer for consideration...
A Retrosexual knows how to cast a fishing reel and untangle a bird's nest if he messes up. Getting a new reel doesn't count.
Lots more could be added. In summation...

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, write a sonnet, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, solve equations, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." Robert Heinlein

[Hand em their arse]

"When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, hell, any woman gets on, that Retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks" look on his face."


This was the one that got me.... I'm 37yrs. old and I will always, ALWAYS offer my seat to any woman that boards a train, a bus, whatever it may be... The only difference that I see is that many of the (ahem) "men" still in their seats are older, and in many cases quite a bit older than I am... So for that reason, I shoot a "You Punks, Sir..." look in their direction...

[elkfersupper]

That pretty much says it.

[cincinnati65]

A Retrosexual doesn't schedule a doctor's appointment every time he has a gas bubble.....it's amazing what a couple of aspirin and a swig of Pepto Bismol will do.

[Huntress]

I mean, if women like it, or it has Brad Pitt in it, it can't be your favorite movie.

Uh-oh. I love James Bond movies, and I am hoping to find a nice retrosexual man to watch them with me.

[freeagle]

Priceless - this will be all over the net tomorrow!!!
:)

[ozzymandus]

This all applies to me except I have a clip-on tie, and often scratch places besides my butt.

[eeriegeno]

I understand all of this BUT what is a retrosexual woman like? What forces drive her?

[TheBigB]

There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas.

I will say that anyone who doesn't get a little bit teary at the end of "Old Yeller" is no friend of mine. ;o)

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I love you. Marry me.

[Hand em their arse]

"NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thanks them for serving their country."

"He also knows the words to the Star Spangled Banner..."


The two reasons I may be only 95% Retro would be when thanking the person in military dress for what they do to keep me free and safe, or whenever I hear The Star-Spangled Banner, be it at Yankee Stadium or my son's Cub Scout meeting, it's for certain that you will find me with a tear(s) in my eye...

[radar101]

http://members.cox.net/rlhtribute/

This site is dedicated to Robert L. Howard, one of America's most decorated soldiers. He served five tours in Vietnam and is the only soldier in our nation's history to be nominated for the Congressional Medal of Honor three times for three separate actions within a thirteen month period. Although it can only be awarded once to an individual, men who served with him said he deserved all three. He received a direct appointment from Master Sergeant to 1st Lieutenant in 1969, and was awarded the Medal of Honor by President Richard M. Nixon at the White House in 1971. His other awards for valor include the Distinguished Service Cross - our nation's second highest award, the Silver Star - the third highest award, and numerous lesser decorations including eight Purple Hearts. He received his decorations for valor for actions while serving as an NCO (Sergeant First Class).

[SandRat]

See you can get around that by training yourself to get a slight lump in your throat for those times. Then you can keep the code of men.

[Hand em their arse]

'.....it's amazing what a couple of aspirin and a swig of Pepto Bismol will do..."

Agreed! That, or having the testicular fortitude to just plain "tough it out"... : )

oh yeah, and a retro-sexual doesn't put smileys on the end of his posts, so scratch that smiley...

[Hand em their arse]

You'll see right through the "I got something in my eye" line, huh??

[martin_fierro]

Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas.

Aw, c'mon, man!