I do understand...
Sadly, a high % of those of us in the nutrition profession do have some kind of food issue. I used to freak out if my weight got over 113#....the least I ever weighed was 99# and that was during a period when I simply forgot to eat for long stretches of time.
I never threw up or anything like that....I was just super-obsessive to the point of lunacy.
And I had a ballet teacher, post-grad who was a stickler about weight and would scream at me that I needed to lose "10" pounds when I really needed to lose just 1 or 2.
Yeah, it was strange when I broke the weight barrier ;) and entered into the 'Plump' zone....like a paralell universe sorta.
I'm my worst critic. I have never had a guy tell me I'm too fat or unattractive, but I have not gone on dates or distanced myself from really nice guys who were interested because I thought I was to heavy/not pretty enough/etc - and this was at 107lbs.