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Cindy Sheehan Digs Defensive Position at Bush Compound

By Political Satirist Chris Davis
Aug 10, 2005

Crawford, Texas—The mother of yet another American soldier killed in Iraq, Cindy Sheehan, 48, of Vacaville, California has dug a defensive position near President Bush’s compound in Crawford, Texas, refusing to move until Bush comes out of the compound. She’s set up on a narrow strip of land between the hardtop of Prairie Chapel Road and a drainage ditch, giving her the drop should President Bush decide to leave the ranch.

“I plan on staying here the entire month of August or until he comes out to talk to me,” she claimed. “And don’t think he can get away. I’ve got his whole perimeter covered with mainstream media cameras maintaining interlocking fields of vision. You’re gonna see me, Mr. President. Oh, yes you will!”

Bush reportedly met with the Sheehan family and other families of fallen troops in June 2004 at Fort Lewis near Seattle. Cindy Sheehan has commented that she didn’t get across to Bush how misguided she believes his ignorant policies are, or how much she hates him, so she decided to act against him.

“We’re going to bring it to the attention of America this time, Mr. President,” Sheehan said, pouring another bottle of water over her exhausted, sweat-soaked body. There’s nothing you can do about it. How do you like those First Amendment apples? Hmmm?”

This isn’t the first time Cindy Sheehan has had to slap down President Bush. It is said she’s been involved in protests against Bush since last year. According to reports, she founded Gold Star Families for Peace, described on its website as made up of “families of soldiers who have died as a result of an illegal war for oil.” It was also noted that she helped form a political group that ran TV ads in the fall of 2004 asking people to vote against Bush.

The ads were graciously picked up by MoveOn.org, an anti-Bush and pro-America group, and were broadcast in several states.

Sheehan said she wants to tell Bush not to use her son’s death as a reason to continue the war. “Why are Jenna and Barbara Bush and the other children of the architects of this disastrous war not in harm’s way, if the cause is so noble,” she asked. “The answer is so simple. Conservative chicken hawks expect everyone else’s children to participate but their own! If Mr. Bush thinks I’d be impressed and intimidated by Joe Hagin, White House deputy chief of staff and Stephen Hadly, national security advisor, sent to talk me, he’s sorely mistaken. Come out of the compound! Don’t hide behind the soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines and coastguardsmen that fight in the war on terror. Be man enough to face me, Mr. President!”

“What you’re seeing with that mom trying to meet with President Bush is echoes of Vietnam,” said Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-CA. “Because no one is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can still see the protests in the streets. God it was beautiful! You go girl!”

“I think we should move for impeachment,” said Sen. John Kerry, D-MA. Ignoring an American mother should be an impeachable offense. I think it’s high time we made it one.”

Soon to be President Hillary Clinton spoke out, urging President Bush to set a date for withdrawal from Iraq in order to honor the memory Cindy Sheehan’s son. “I’ve heard the most repulsive rumors, said Sen. Clinton, D-NY. “They’re planning to arrest her on Thursday. And if that doesn’t work, they’re planning on having the Secret Service mow her down ‘accidentally’ with some of their cars. End the war in Vietnam, Mr. President. Bring the troops home now!”

“I just know Rush Limbaugh better keep his mouth shut on this protest,” fired Sen. John McCain, R-AZ. “He’s been making far too many excuses for President Bush and this administration. For once, I’d like to see him use some moderation. He’s one of the reason this mother suffers now. But he’ll never see that.”

As Thursday draws near, Ms. Sheehan digs in more and sets up a perfect perimeter defense, making it inevitable for an appearance sooner or later. President Bush must face her, swallow his bitter pill and utter, “The loss of a loved one in the war on terror is heartbreaking, but will happen in defense of liberty. So don’t ruin his hallowed memory by staging this phony, partisan political show.”

Chris Davis is the author of Elective Decisions and In Defense of Liberty, two political thrillers from the Whiskey Creek Press.