An English Lesson

[tet68]

I were gowan to Deetroit with ma truck full a PrOduce
whin ah got stopped by the POlice!

[Tax-chick]

No you're homophones ... it's what separates us from the savages! (And the trolls, who are often distinguished by their rampant homophonia.)

[Fiddlstix]

BTTT

[mtbopfuyn]

I'll always remember an argument with my HS English teacher once over tear (wet eyes) and tear (rip). Can't remember the poem but it ended with "a tear on her skirt" or some such. I argued a tear (wet eyes) would be ON the skirt while a tear (rip) would be IN the skirt. She won with rip because I needed the grade and that was back in the day one didn't argue with the teacher.

[Borges]

"If you call an orange an orange, why don't you call a banana a yellow?"

Apples and Oranges.

[DumpsterDiver]

Reminds me of that thin line between man's laughter and manslaughter.

Or psycho the rapist and psychotherapist.

[Originalist]

Heh

[Knitting A Conundrum]

Warning to Freepers well into their fifth vodka sour of the evening, which came out of a fifth by the way:
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO READ THIS POST!

(Also, did you know that where any four Irishmen are gathered, you can probably find a fifth?)

If you keep that up, I'll be doing something that I might have to plead the fifth on....

[speedy]

Hey, who are you calling a homophone? You some kind of thespian or something?

[Ol' Dan Tucker]

A skunk sat on a stump. The skunk thought the stump stunk and the stump thought the skunk stunk.

[speedy]

Now those two are a bit close for comfort.

[Fresh Wind]

Why do the phrases "slow up" and "slow down" mean the same thing?

[Tax-chick]

No, I'm not Greek. We're from Oklahoma.

[speedy]

Six thick thistle sticks.

[speedy]

Thanks for clearing that up. I thought you were one of those masticating perverts who matriculate everywhere.

[Tax-chick]

Oh no, not me. But I went to college with a few ...

[speedy]

Hee hee. So you not only deny the allegations, you will take action against the alligators?

[SAJ]

Oh, you can have lots of fun playing around with the language. F'rinstance, the following words can be punctuated to make exactly one grammatically correct sentence:

Mary where John had had has had had had had had had had had had the teacher's approval

Care to have a go? ;^)

[Tax-chick]

No, actually I think I'll go take a drink! (Not a fifth, though ...)

[catpuppy]

When Hugh fell into the loo, he flew into a rage and threatened to sue. His attorney friend, a Sioux, pulled off quite a coup in winning the case.