Not "Extra Fiber All Bran Cereal." Heh, heh...
Colon Blow, or Super Colon Blow (old SNL sketch, when it was funny and not nauseatingly liberal.)
Not "Extra Fiber All Bran Cereal." Heh, heh...
Trying to consume 5000 calories of extra fiber cereal would have you spending so much time in the bathroom that you couldn't get to 5000 calories of it. :=)
Eat 5000 calories a day of ANYTHING and you'll get fat.
Not "Extra Fiber All Bran Cereal." Heh, heh...
Make mine "Super Colon Blow!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colon Blow
Man.....Phil Hartman
[ fade in on a man at a table, eating oat bran cereal from a bowl ]
Announcer: Hold it! Is that what you’re having for breakfast?
Man: Sure, haven't you heard? Fiber is really good for you.
Announcer: Well, there's fiber, and then there's high fiber. Try this.
[ offstage hands replace cereal box with Colon Blow cereal box ]
Man: Hmm.. Colon Blow. Sounds delicious. But is it really higher in fiber than my oat bran cereal?
Announcer: Take a guess: How many bowls of your oat bran cereal would it take to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Colon Blow?
Man: Two?
Announcer: Guess again.
Man: Three?
Announcer: A little higher.
Man: Four?
Announcer: Keep trying.
Man: Five?
Announcer: No, you'll have to do better than that.
Man: Seven?
Announcer: Guess again.
Man: Eight?
Announcer: We'll give you one more guess.
Man: Nine.
Announcer: Not even close. [ table starts shaking ] It would take over 30,000 bowls. [ a giant pyramid of cereal bowls shoots up from under the man, who yells in terror as it rises ] To eat that much oat bran, you'd have to eat ten bowls a day, every day for eight and a half years.
Man: [ after the pyramid settles; shouts from afar ] Wow! I think I get the picture! Colon Blow must be the highest fiber cereal on the market!
Announcer: Not any more, now that there's new Super Colon Blow.
Man: Super Colon Blow?
[ pyramid rises even higher with the man screaming ]
Announcer: It would take over two and a half million bowls of your oat bran cereal to equal the fiber content of one bowl of Super Colon Blow.
[ pyramid settles ]
Man: [ overwhelmed ]I'm convinced! [ looks down the pyramid in panic ]
[ cut to close-up of bowl with Colon Blow and Super Colon Blow boxes ]
Jingle: "Colon Blow and you-u-u-u in the morning"
Announcer: Colon Blow and new Super Colon Blow.
Voiceover: Warning: may cause abdominal distention. Consult a physician.
[ fade to black ]
Thanks to Rob Holtman for this transcript.
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/89/89ecolonblow.phtml
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Mark