Oh no, you most certainly were not snippy! I very much appreciate the perspective, and you're right to be concerned that people who don't know what that kind of loss is like (such as myself) will be too magnanimous about the bad behavior of those who do.
Now you've hit the nail right on the head.
It's no excuse for POOR CHOICES!
Now you all read this: I don't agree with ALL of it, but I agree with most of it: