Cheney Saves Left-Winger From Suicide

County Press (Suburban Philadelphia) Second Thoughts ^ | 8-10-05 | William W. Lawrence

[Temple Owl]

Oh, oh! President Bush has bypassed the Senate to name hard-nosed John R. Bolton the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.

Now Teddy Kennedy, John Kerry, Joe Biden, Chris Dodd and Dick Durbin will be unhappy and uncooperative.

They'd be even less happy if we moved the United Nations to sunny Greenland.

* * *

Vice President Dick Cheney is being credited with saving the life of Helen Thomas, the veteran left-wing liberal White House correspondent. Ms. Thomas declared that she would commit suicide if VP Cheney ran for President.

Cheney, displaying compassion for the ugly old hag, announced that he would not run for President in 2008. See, he really is a nice guy.

Oh stop it! There are people behind me yelling "Run, Dick, run."

* * *

Off The Internet:

Nebojsa Miladinovic, a Serbian sawmill owner in his 50s, recently stormed the tax office in the city of Gornji Milanov after twice getting a 192,200 dinar ($2,794) tax bill.

The Serb media tells us that the enraged Miladinovic started shooting and tried to set the tax chief and the building on fire.

This all happened after Miladinovic tried for days to convince tax officials he had paid his bill. They insisted that he had not, sent the bill again and blocked his bank account. After an argument, Miladinovic came back, doused tax chief Gojko Stefanovic and the office files with petrol, shot at computers and yelled, "I was ripped off."

Police arrested Miladinovic, whom neighbors described as a hard worker who never made trouble. Witnesses said he even paid for parking his car in front of the tax office before the rampage.

[Temple Owl]

Don't play poker with Dubya and expect to win. Pennsylvanians might want to read the rest of the column it deal with the lawmakers who gave themselves a big raise.

[atomicpossum]

Vice President Dick Cheney is being credited with saving the life of Helen Thomas,

Thanks a BUNCH, Dick.

[martin_fierro]

Ms. Thomas declared that she would commit suicide if VP Cheney ran for President.

Helen doesn't know DICK.

[anymouse]

Ahem. Maybe you should ask the moderator to correct your headline. You made a hugh mistake that is very series. ;)

[Temple Owl]

You might want to ping your Penna list on this one. He goes after the thieves who are picking our pockets.

[Temple Owl]

You mean she's not a left-winger?

[popdonnelly]

Who among us would act as nobly as Cheyney?

[Puppage]

Helen doesn't know DICK.

Dick is scared of Helen.

[nuke rocketeer]

If I were Cheney, I'd announce my candidacy and sell tickets to her suicide as a campaign fund raiser. But that's just me and my warped sense of humor!

[Temple Owl]

You have a great mind-- a bit twisted perhaps-- but aren't all geniuses that way? Run Dick Run!

[George W. Bush]

Sounds like a great little paper.

[Tribune7]

ping