[Mrs. Don-o]

You wrote: "A man who chooses to abstain rather than have relations using contraception will be more likely to look at women with lust and commit adultery in his heart."

That can happen. BUt it doesn't have to. Something else can happen instead: he can start looking at his own wife as something more than an in-home amenity for sexual convenience. (If that's the way he was tempted to think of her: I'm not imputing anything here.)

It can cause him to appreciate her more, to look at her under a different aspect, to think of her emotional balance with more understanding and delicacy; to become less demanding and more oriented toward patience, kindness --- in fact, all the fruits and gifts of the Holy Spirit.

I hardly think this can be done successfully without prayer and reliance on the Holy Spirit. Of course there are virtuous agnostics and atheists (hello, you, out there!) but from what I've seen, God draws people toward NFP and NFP draws them toward God.

[plain talk]

I think much of what you say is idealistic wishful thinking. Since you are not a man you really have limited understanding in this area.