School on Aug. 8 ? Are they insane? (Dave Barry)

Maimi Herald ^ | Aug. 04, 2005 | DAVE BARRY

[nuconvert]

Posted on Thu, Aug. 04, 2005

School on Aug. 8? Are they insane?

BY DAVE BARRY

Here's a multiple-choice test:

When should the school year start?

A. Sometime around Sept. 1, when most of the United States of America has started school for many decades.

B. On Aug. 8 -- also known as ''smack dab in the middle of summer'' -- when the average Florida classroom is roughly the same temperature as a pizza oven.

If you answered ''A,'' you are correct. If you answered ''B,'' you are an official of Miami-Dade or Broward public schools. These officials have decided that our children need to start school on Monday, when children from normal places are vacationing with their families, or attending summer camp, or lying on the sofa picking their noses and playing video games, which is what God clearly intended early August to be used for.

Among the children who will be trudging into Miami-Dade schools on Monday is my 5-year-old daughter, who enters kindergarten this year. When my wife told me the date our daughter would start school, my fifth question was: ``Why?''

(My first four questions, in order, were: ''Aug. 8?'' ''Did you say Aug. 8?'' ''You mean, like, the eighth day of AUGUST?'' ``Are they INSANE??'')

I found out that the reason for the extremely early start of the school year is -- as you veteran parents already know -- the FCATs. FCAT is an acronym standing for ``(Very bad word) Comprehensive Assessment Test.''

These are standardized tests that are administered to all public-school students in Florida to confirm the sneaking suspicion among us older people that these kids today are just not as sharp as we were, dadgummit.

The FCATs have come to dominate public education in Florida. At one time, the purpose of the public schools, at least theoretically, was to educate children; now it is to produce higher FCAT scores, by whatever means necessary. If school officials believed that ingesting lizard meat improved FCAT performance, the cafeterias would be serving gecko nuggets.

So what they've been doing is starting school earlier and earlier, to give teachers more time to drill the kids for the FCATs, which are given in February and March.

Last year, school started in the third week in August; this year it's the second week. If this keeps up it's only a matter of time before we're starting the school year around Memorial Day, which means parents will have to go on their family vacations without taking their actual families, keeping in touch with their children by postcard. (''Dear Dylan -- Disney World is great! Wish you were here! How do you like second grade?'') Yes, it would pretty much destroy childhood. But think of the FCAT scores!

Some other ways we might improve our FCAT performance are:

1. Expel students who are expected to do poorly on the FCATs. The school could send the parents of these students a letter that said: ``We're sorry, but we do not believe your child is capable of producing the kind of FCAT scores that we need to maintain our average here at Coral Snail Elementary.''

2. Import students to Florida from places that tend to produce high standardized-test scores, such as Japan.

3. Cheat. Hey, this is Miami-Dade County! If we can't cheat, what's the point of living here?

4. Instead of starting the school year insanely early, give the tests later.

Ha ha! I'm just kidding with that last one, of course. What a crazy idea! But I sure wish we could find a way to avoid the gradual elimination of our children's summers. I suspect many of you parents out there feel the same way.

In fact, that gives me an idea: Why don't we all write letters to our school board members telling them how we feel? We could collect all these letters and put them in a big box, and then, on the day of the next school board meeting, we could throw the box into a Dumpster. Because I seriously doubt that the school board cares what we parents think about this; if it did, it would never have decided to send our kids back to school on Aug. 8.

No, probably all we can do is shut up, pay our taxes and take our kids to school on whatever day works best for FCAT purposes. On Aug. 8, I'll be dropping my daughter off, with her little lunchbox in her little hand. We prefer to pack her lunch; she's allergic to gecko.

[The Shrew]

I think Barry does a pretty good job of skewering the PTB in schools for this. I wish he would follow up on this and find out that the reason his kid is starting August 8th is because there are so many "teacher-in-service" days, and "class-planning" days etc. Additionally, days have to be added to make up for the class time to teach "Heather Has Two Mommies" ro second graders.

It only gets worse in high school with fall athletics. Many of the high schools around here started pre-season football, soccer, volleyball and softball LAST week - August 1!

Regards,

TS

[Old Professer]

12 months each year, no breaks and graduate H.S. in 9 years at the ripe old age of 15.

[Grendel9]

Technically, you are correct...but the SCHOOL BOARD
also has limitations on its decisions.

I taught in the public High school for 30+ years
before retiring in '92. It seemed we started
earlier every year. I said, Soon, I'll be in
this building on my birthday, 8/23. Well, the
kids here made that date for the last three
years now. Thanks to a referendum, the kids now
complain about their classrooms being COLD instead
of hot since the air conditioning was installed.

But...before I retired, I asked straight out:
WHY do we start school so early every year when
there have been NO strikes, NO foul weather causing
closings, etc. Are you ready for the answer?

The State Athletic Association, which governs intermural
sports, dictates that school must be in session 3 weeks
before the first competitions between schools can begin!
The only schools NOT subject to that rule are the
parochial schools. So it's SPORTS, baby! The schools
make quite a bit on those gate tickets, they spend
a lot more on uniforms, floor/ground upkeep, equipment
needed for the sport, coach and assts coaches salaries,
hired refs, u name it!

[Pan_Yans Wife]

As a result, schools lose many students prior to the end of the year as they start various summer training, education, or employment programs despite the official school schedule.

And how do these missed days fit into the "excused absence" framework. Where I live, excused absences are only those that involve a doctor visit and written evidence to prove it.

There is NO time to attend extracurricular activities that do not coincide with the school year, and the truancy guidelines.

[RipSawyer]

It ain't always been thataway in South Carolina or if you sound like Fritz Hollings "Sooth Ca'lina", school used to start after Labor Day. Any principal who tried to start before Labor Day would have been made very unhappy.

[lifacs]

Here's a multiple-choice test:

When should the school year start?

A. Sometime around Sept. 1, when most of the United States of America has started school for many decades.

B. On Aug. 8 -- also known as ''smack dab in the middle of summer'' -- when the average Florida classroom is roughly the same temperature as a pizza oven.

An out and out LIE:

I found out that the reason for the extremely early start of the school year is -- as you veteran parents already know -- the FCATs. FCAT is an acronym standing for ``(Very bad word) Comprehensive Assessment Test.''

This guy is full of bullsh*t. I've lived in Palm Beach County for 25 years. The kids have always started school in August, long before the FCAT came along. So where in the hell have you been Mr. Barry? Now that your daughter has to start in August it's a big deal? lol. What a blow hard

[nothingnew]

The kids get the same amount of time off through extended breaks throughout the school year.

Cool!.....Good!....I'm no longer worried about the crap being put into their heads. I think all kids should be forced to go to gubbmint skools 365/year. I mean, spending 2 or 3 months a year during the summer with their parents where they might get more support or "different" information is quite ludicrous! What the hell was I thinking??!!

FMCDH(BITS)

[RipSawyer]

Why in the world would any parent drag their kids off on vacation in the middle of a hot scorching August?>>>>>>

Because tradition dies hard, people used to go on vacation either to the beach to cool off in the surf or to the mountains where the air was cooler. Now they go to amusement parks and such like ( ; o )

[RipSawyer]

We need more plumbers, electricians, gardeners, farmers and clerks, etc., not "sales associates" or "partners".>>>>>>>

We need to return to treating such trades with the respect they deserve instead of insisting that a college degree is necessary to flush the toilet properly. We are surrounded by degreed people doing jobs for which an actual high school education would be more than sufficient.

[StayAt HomeMother]

Around here if a parent or guardian pulls the child out of school a couple weeks before the official end date, nothing is done. Students miss school for all sorts of reasons, including family vacations, court dates, and school-sponsored trips for "enrichment" or to athletic or acadmic competitions.

Not all Fairfax schools have the same calendar. For example, the last day for Dogwood Elementary, one of the schools that does not show good results on standardized exams, was June 21 and they started again August 1. Here is the rest of this year's calendar for that school; notice the three long breaks.
[November 8th is Election Day and the schools here close for November elections.] http://www.fcps.edu/DogwoodES/
August 31 Student Holiday
September 5 Labor Day Holiday
October 6 - 10 Student Holidays and October 11 - 21 Optional Intersession
November 8 Student Holiday
November 24 - 25 Thanksgiving Holidays
December 23 - 2 January Student Holidays and January 3 - 13, 2006 Optional Intersession
January 16 King's Birthday Holiday
January 30 Student Holiday
February 20 Washington's Birthday Holiday
March 27 - April 7 Optional Intersession and April 10 - 14 Spring Vacation
May 29 Memorial Day Holiday
June 23 Last Day of School

[sandbar]

>>>I think all kids should be forced to go to gubbmint skools 365/year. I mean, spending 2 or 3 months a year during the summer with their parents where they might get more support or "different" information is quite ludicrous! What the hell was I thinking??!!>>>

Alright Neal Boortz wannabe, if you want to make sure all the little children in the country are not educated in 'gubbmint skools', then take the task on yourself. What the hell WERE you thinking? Whining about and extra 2-3 weeks in the summer that they AREN'T getting with their parents while not comprehending in your head that they get those 2-3 weeks in the school year is just plain stupid. If you are against 'gubbmint skools', be against them. But at least pick an intellegent cause to fight and not that they don't get those weeks in the summer.

And don't be a smart a** with my typo.

[nothingnew]

But at least pick an intelligent cause to fight and not that they don't get those weeks in the summer.

OK.

Tax relief for those that homeschool.

Vouchers

Your gubbmint skools keeping their noses out of homeschoolers business.

The gubbmint admitting that most of their skools and curriculum are basically failures.

Stop teaching that homosexuality is OK.

Stop teaching kids BS altogether.

I don't think that 2-3 months out of the marxist BS camps is too much to ask.

As far as I know, you can say "ass" here.

Who's Neal Boortz?....hahahaha!

FMCDH(BITS)

[RightFighter]

Part of this also has to do with the fact that in the past, the first semester of public school never quite ended before Christmas, so you had kids working on first semester material and then taking a two-week Christmas break, then coming back and having first-semester exams. It does make more sense to me to get the first semester done before Christmas, then start a new semester after the Christmas break.

[Future Snake Eater]

I'm 25, homeschooled for nearly my entire pre-secondary schooling, and a victim of the information dump that occurs between school years due to the huge breaks in-between school years.

[Naomi4]

The school year is 180 days. It doesn't matter when you start. You must have the 180 days. Our schools in Florida start earlier to give more time before the FCAT, and they now end the school year earlier as well. The FCAT testing dates have stayed consistent, it is the school year that has shifted.

[Naomi4]

Our schools in Florida are all air conditioned. The children are probably cooler in school than they would be at summer camp or walking around DisneyWorld in August.

[Nowhere Man]

I remember as a kid eagerly awaiting the end of Spring and the beginning of Summer. Summer started May 30th when school ended for the year. It was like getting out of jail or prison. It was an end to torture. And thank God or the school "authorities" that it didn't start back up until after Labor day.

Why does school go on forever now?

I'm not convinced that kids need 12 years of school either.

I'd be satisfied if some of the dummies out there could simply do simple math, could write and speak somewhat coherently, remember to take their hats off indoors, not put their feet on the furniture, wash, brush their teeth, comb their hair and say "please" and "thank you". That would be a major improvement in public "education".

We need more plumbers, electricians, gardeners, farmers and clerks, etc., not "sales associates" or "partners".

Yeah, myself, we didn't start school until around Labor Sy or a week before if Labor Day ws later, the earliest we started was like August 27th. I graduated high school in 1985. I know I was dumfounded when my cousins in Texas got out in late May and went back in mid-August. I know up in rural northwestern Pennsylvania, I think the kids go back in mid August, but they get a week off for the County Fair and another week for deer season after Thanksgiving. I sometimes wonder if we need 12 years of school or not, you do bring up a lot of good points. BTW, it is kind of refreshing in those rural areas. Mom, her friend and I were up there and we went into Ohio. We asked where a restaraunt was in Andover, Ohio so we pulled over and asked a boy on a tractor. He musth ave been 15 or so and he addressed my mother as "ma'am" and me as "sir." It was kind of refreshing.

[Naomi4]

Gator Girl, you are a breath of fresh air. All these people criticizing starting school here in Florida on August 8th and ending it the third week of May don't know have a clue. We have to air condition from at least April through November, so how does a shift of two or three weeks make the slightest difference?

Most parents have their kids in some kind of day care while they work. There are just not all that many stay-at-home moms any more. It is actually cheaper for the average family to have their kids in school and just pay for before and after care than all day care.

The school year is 180 days. Last year we had so many days off for hurricanes that we thought we were going to lose the spring break or have to say longer, possibly into the first week of June.

Glad it didn't happen.

Also, as you know, FCAT has done wonders for public education in Florida. Suddenly the kids are actually learning to read and write and there is accountability. Schools get report cards that are published in the local newspapers and reported on the nightly news. It is a big deal.

Before FCAT, we had kids graduating who could not read their diplomas and entire schools were sending out illiterate students. That is a rare occurrence now.

Thanks to Frank Brogan, former Education Secretary who was the impetus behind the FCAT, and Jeb Bush, who fully supported it and got it implemented, we now are no longer the 48th or 49th school system in terms of educational quality and achievement in the nation. We have made great strides and continue to improve each year as the test gets a bit harder each year and the bar is raised, not lowered.

All in all, although no one likes the FCAT, it has been a blessing to the children of Florida.

[Dianna]

I think Barry does a pretty good job of skewering the PTB in schools for this. I wish he would follow up on this and find out that the reason his kid is starting August 8th is because there are so many "teacher-in-service" days, and "class-planning" days etc. Additionally, days have to be added to make up for the class time to teach "Heather Has Two Mommies" ro second graders.

The school year USED to be 180 days. Guess what...kids STILL go to school 180 days. Teachers have to have X numbers of professional development per year (perhaps because some of you keep complaining about how stupid they are).

[The Shrew]

You'll be very hard pressed to find a post in which I refer to teachers being stupid. There may be 180 class days a year, but you refute neither Barry's point nor mine. The school year has to start August 8th in Barry's case so that there can be a 180 class days + inservice days plus class planning days to get to the end of the school year in late May or early June.

I don't think it was Dave Barry or me that lobbied for the in-service days. I think it was the teachers via their unions.

Regards,

TS