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Rush always says good comedy has to have an element of truth to it. Several years ago, I read the following editorial by a guy named Greg Crosby, and thought it was one of the funniest things I'd ever read -- funny because it's so danged true. Everytime I think of kid Clinton, this is the image I have. Anyway, the last two quoted paragraphs address the chick element.

Flash back to the nineteen-fifties to a little town called Hope, Arkansas. Can’t you just see this chubby soft pubescent kid sitting in a darkened movie theater scarfing down a second tub of popcorn (with extra butter) while watching Elvis in Jailhouse Rock or King Creole and thinking to himself, “Oh, man. I love this guy!”

Can’t you see him looking in the mirror practicing the lip-biting humility that came so naturally to Presley (but is so studied with Clinton) and rehearsing twangy Elvis catch-phrases like, “Thaink yew ... thaink yew very much.” Can’t you see him in the kitchen making deep-fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches? “Oh, man! This thaing tastes great!” I’m convinced Elvis has always been Clinton’s idol -- his ultimate yardstick for success.

Of course, the established Clinton story is that his hero and role model has always been John F. Kennedy -- HA! -- don’t let him fool you. Kennedy could never really be Clinton’s idol. I mean, Kennedy did okay, but he never had access to the amount of chicks that Ol’ Elvis did. Girls never squealed and fainted for JFK. They never threw their hotel keys or panties at him.

What Clinton wants, is to have an Elvis Presley lifestyle AND a Kennedy presidential legacy. He’d like to record mega-hit rock and roll records and drive around in gold Cadillac convertibles. He’d like to dress in white jumpsuits with red sashes around his waist, dark sunglasses around his head, gold chains around his neck, and teenage girls around his legs.