Forty+ years ago, my parents lived in the building next door to her. She was always out and about the neighborhood and shopped in the same stores my mother did. And the local merchants were NOT enamored of her and her foul mouth, high and mighty attitude and I know why! My mother would often take me to a dress shop/boutique in the neighborhood. On two different occasions, I saw and heard Bacall through one of her foul mouth tirades, which she was well known for doing.Her language would have made a sailor blush, back then, when no man, let alone a woman, would use such language in public.
And FYI...her behavior and language was totally UNCALLED for! I know exactly what had transpired, from beginning to end, since I was in the dressing room next to her and heard it all. She proved to me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that her reputation was not only earned, but that the stories about her, were toned down; not exaggerated and that the language she used, cleaned up, in the retelling.
Well, I suppose in most cases, it would depend on the situation.
I spent more than just a brief meeting, and the Lady I met was gracious, and friendly. On set, she was an absolute pro, and expected all of us to be the same.
There were more than just a few occasions she could have displayed what you described, and she didn't.
Talking to her, it was obvious she was strong willed and opinionated, all in all, my time around her was excellent.
So, we'll have to agree to disagree on her.